Chalk Outline
by Messrsmoony
Summary: Snape has the opportunity to go back in time and fix the mistakes he made. The question is, will he make the right decisions this time around?
1. I've been cursed

(A/N - This story is in need of a beta. Also it may contain references to a few other series though not directly or by name. If you catch them, great, if not well ... we'll get to that later. As always please R&R, and enjoy. Here's chapter 1/33+ chapters so we have a lot written we're just not going to post it all at the same time))

**Chalk Outline  
**By MessrsMoony and Enigma42

Chapter 1

"You left me here like a chalk outline  
On the sidewalk waiting for the rain  
To wash away, to wash away  
You keep coming back to the scene of the crime  
But the dead can't speak and there's nothing left to say anyway  
All you left behind  
Is a chalk outline"  
- Three Days Grace

The darkness was suffocating, pressing in on each side of him, constricting his movements. His body felt like a weight to heavy to lift or move. The darkness was like an unstoppable force, his body an immovable object, leaving both at a stand still of pressure that was indescribable.

The air around him seemed thick, leaving him unable to breath. The pain in his throat extended through his nerves, his entire body wracked with pain, his lungs burning from lack of air. Is this what death feels like?

Severus struggled to raise his arms, bringing his hands to his throat, feeling the thick wetness of blood dripping from the gaping hole in his neck. Why?

That was the ultimate question. Why? His death served no purpose. Though ... he supposed he did deserve it. After all that he's done. After all the mistakes he's made ... the good he did made little difference. Perhaps this was hell. This was where he belonged.

"Severus." He heard his name whispered from all directions, though he did not know where it had come from. "Severus." Albus ... The voice he was sure he'd never hear again, not anywhere but from a portrait, fictional ... a memory.

"Albus?" Severus asked, though his voice came out naught but silence. "Albus." He said once again. There was no sound in this place. Nothing but Dumbledore's voice whispering his name.

"Severus." Severus paused, his hands still gripping his throat fell back against ... what ever it was he seemed to be laying on ... He didn't know.

That voice though ... that voice was not Dumbledore's ... That voice was female ... and familiar. He tried to open his eyes, but he could not. "Severus." The voice came again.

Minerva. No ... He felt his heart break. No, she couldn't be dead. Not Minerva. He felt tears spring to his eyes and he struggled to move. No, not her ... Who would take care of the students?

"Severus, open your eyes." Albus said quietly. _I'm trying!_ Severus' mind screamed, where his voice could not. "Severus."

Suddenly, as if a bucket of cold water had been splashed over him, Severus was free. The darkness faded, the pain stopped. He opened his eyes and sat straight up, gasping for breath as if he'd been drowning, which he practically had been.

"Severus." The voice was louder now. Less hollow. He looked around, his sight to blurred to take in his surroundings, but it was bright. "Severus, calm down. You're alright now."

"Minerva?" He asked, looking at her blurred form. He shook his head and moved his head down into his hands, rubbing his eyes. Why couldn't he see straight.

"Severus, be respectful." Albus said, gently. "You have been through a great deal Severus. Do you know where you are?" Severus took a few moments, his hands rubbing his eyes as he tried to clear them. He opened his eyes again, and looked around. The hospital wing?

"Am I dead?" He asked quietly. Albus chuckled slightly.

"No ... no my boy you are not. Do you remember what happened?" Albus asked quietly, sitting down on the edge of Severus' bed. He glanced at Albus. He wasn't dead? But ... how can that be?

"Do I ... Do I remember?" He asked, confused as to what Albus meant. Of course he remembered. How could he not remember. The huge snake coming at him, with no where to escape, the magic holding his arms to his sides as the snake sunk it's huge fangs into his soft flesh. How could he not remember.

"I ... I remember ..." Severus said shakily. "I remember being in the shrieking shack." He looked around the hospital wing, white and cold as it always had been. Why was he here? Had he survived? No ... Albus was dead. So ... how?

"Yes, Mr. Snape. You were in the shrieking shack. I have no doubts that you are in shock my boy." Albus said quietly as to not disturb the other patients. "You followed Mr. Lupin into the shrieking shack last night. Mr. Potter came and saved you, luckily." Severus looked at him confused.

"Lupin?" He asked. "Lupin wasn't ..." He paused. Followed Lupin into the shrieking shack? Lupin was long since dead before he'd gone to the shack, but ... He looked back at Albus. No ... it couldn't be.

"Um ... Al- ... Headmaster ... to which Potter are you referring?" Severus asked. He felt a hand move to his head, checking for a fever.

"Severus. Are you alright?" Albus asked, true concern on his face. "We only have one Potter in this school."

"Which?" Severus asked, not getting an actual answer from the man.

"Mr. James Potter." Albus said, even more confused than before. Severus looked down at the bed, to his hands. He took everything in as best as he can. Albus was alive, James and Lupin where in the shrieking shack. All three of these men were dead ... He knew they were dead.

"Severus, you've been unconscious for three days. I have no doubt that you are confused, my boy. Please ... lay down and rest for a while." Severus then noticed something else. Something he hadn't noticed before.

His hands.

He lifted his hands and stared at them. It wasn't his hands themselves that confused him. It was the lack of scars, and calluses from years of potion making. The thinness of the digits. His eyes trailed over his arms down to his own body. He was at least fifty pounds lighter than he had been mere moments ago.

"No ..." Severus muttered, almost in rely to what Albus was saying. "I ... I have to go to the bathroom." This couldn't be right. He had to be wrong.

"Of course." Albus said standing from the bed. He reached down to help Severus up but Severus waved him off.

"I'm fine." he said slowly sitting up and moving towards the bathroom. He closed the door quietly behind him and looked into the mirror. What looked back at him, was a shock.

He seemed to be fifteen or sixteen at most. He was in the past. Albus and Minerva were both alive. He'd followed Lupin into the shrieking shack last night, Potter had saved him. So he was in his fifth year, about a week away from his OWL, if his memory served. He felt like screaming, but he held the urge back. No doubt that would send Albus, Minerva and Poppy in here without hesitation.

He leaned back against the wall. "I'm sixteen." He said staring at the sink's lower cabinet in front of him. "I'm sixteen." It was a fact, but it wasn't sinking in. "I'm sixteen." He said over and over again. "How?" Severus asked, leaning his head back against the wall. He could feel tears running down his cheeks, though why he could not understand. Was it fear? Pain? Happiness? Severus paused. Why would it be happiness? He had to live his entire shitty life all over again - but ... A week before his OWL ... that means ...

"Lily!" Severus cried out loudly. She was still alive. She wasn't mad at him. At least ... not to the point of giving up on him. She could still forgive him. He could change! He had changed! He didn't need to change, he was different already but ... to her he would change ...

This was the second chance Severus had always wanted. But ... Severus paused, his heart sinking suddenly. "This can't be real. This has to be a dream." Severus said staring at the cupboard once more. "How can this be real? It's impossible to go back in time without a time turner, and all of those had been destroyed by Ministry of Magic. So how?" Severus felt his stomach turning in knots. The more he thought about it, the sicker he felt, until a few moments later Severus was leaning over the toilet, expelling what little was in his stomach.

o0o0o0o0o0o

Lily was in the library when Professor McGonagall came to tell her that Severus was finally awake.  
As angry as she had been with him lately, she had still found herself dropping by over the past three days, to see if there was any change. There hadn't been. What could have done this to him? She'd heard rumors that he'd been out near the Whomping Willow... But that made no bloody sense. Sev may have been infuriating lately, but he had never been stupid. If Potter and Co. knew anything, they weren't talking. And of course, she had no way of finding out whether any of those pureblood fanatics Sev had been hanging around had anything to do with it. Honestly, what else did he expect, falling in with that lot? Nothing good could come of it, and if he insisted on acting like a complete git when she _knew_ he was better than that...

Nonetheless, she dropped everything and ran straight to the Hospital Wing.

When she arrived, she was panting, hair disheveled. She'd found herself running the whole way, and the stairs had picked the worst possible moment to be uncooperative.

She slowed down as she approached the door, however; Madame Pomfrey would never tolerate racing into the Hospital Wing like that.  
She entered, and softly:  
"Sev?"

Dumbledore looked up at Lily from where he sat on Severus' bed. Severus looked at her, a look of fear and shock on his face. He was sure he looked quite a bit upset, though he was sure that Dumbledore would take it as from what was just discussed.

He remembered this ... being a traumatized sixteen year old boy, being told he couldn't talk to anyone, being told by the headmaster himself that virtually his own life meant less than another boys attendance in this school.

It seemed so trivial now ... Everything had changed.

Severus watched her as she stood in the door way. "Lily?" He asked, as if he'd never seen her before. As if he were seeing a ghost. Dumbledore cleared his throat and looked to Severus, who was keeping his occumency shields up undetected. No sense in the old man seeing the future so to speak.

"I'll leave you two to catch up then." He said, looking at Severus. "I trust we are in agreement."

Severus looked up at him, and did his best to sneer at the old man, but found that he could not muster the ability to do so. Dumbledore was alive. He hadn't killed him. Yet.

"Of course, Headmaster." He said quietly.

The way Severus looked at her just now...  
He seemed... shocked. Was he that surprised to see her here? Did he really think that just because she'd been angry with him lately that she wouldn't come? Lily felt hurt at the idea. But no, surely he knew better than that. And... and there was something else there, too.  
Sev was afraid.  
Afraid of what? Of what had happened to him? What had Dumbledore been talking to him about, anyway?

Lily walked over to Severus's bedside, and gently put her hand over his. She still wasn't sure what condition he was in, and needed to be careful.  
"Sev," she asked quietly. "Are you alright? What happened to you?"

Severus watched her from where he sat leaning against the head board. She was sitting here with him ... she was touching his hand ... she was concerned for him ... This was too much.

"It doesn't matter." He said looking at her, feeling tears spring to his eyes but he would not allow them to fall. As much as he wanted to just break down and weep, that would not help anything. He pulling his hand away from hers and lifted his bandaged hand to her face, his fingers brushing against her cheek. "I'm so sorry." He whispered. It was the words that he'd wanted to say to her for over twenty years. The words he'd lost the chance to say. She wouldn't even know what he was apologizing for ... but it didn't matter. He got to say it. He moved away from the head board and pulled her into a hug, a few tears finally falling down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry."

Lily stared back at him, bewildered.  
What did he mean, 'It doesn't matter'? He'd been in a bloody _coma_, for Merlin's sake, leaving her worried sick, with no answers and not a thing she could do to help. How could that not matter?  
And since when did Severus apologize for anything? Ever?

And... and... were those tears in his eyes?

"Severus," Lily started. "What-"

And then he pulled her into a hug.

Lily was still for a moment, out of sheer confusion.

Then, hesitantly, she hugged him back.  
"It's... it's alright, Sev," she said, because she had no idea what else to say. "Everything's going to be okay."

Whatever he'd been through had really done a number on him. Sure, she'd been a bit cross with him lately, but... nothing to merit tearful apologies, not from Severus of all people.  
She just hugged him for awhile, since that was what he apparently needed, before finally saying:  
"Um... Seriously, though... What happened to you?"

"I ... I can't tell you." He said leaning back against the bed again after reluctantly letting her go. "Dumbledore asked me not to speak of it to anyone. Though ... I'm sure I'll tell you when there aren't so many listening ears." He said with a genuine smile on his face. He was sure she thought he'd gone nuts, but he couldn't help himself. He was sitting here with Lily Evans who has yet to be a Potter ... and better yet, is not yet to the point of not forgiving him.

"I missed you." He said quietly, though the words seemed to escape his mouth before he could stop himself. "I'm sorry ... I'm ... acting strange." He said, trying to find a reason for it, an explanation that she would believe that wasn't far from the truth. "Lets just say I ... I had a bad dream ... I'm ... glad it's over though."

...And now he was smiling. Really smiling. That was rare on a normal occasion, even more so lately. Had Madame Pomfrey given him some kind of potion? One with side effects like drastic mood swings?

Whatever had happened, it had to be pretty serious for Dumbledore to swear him to secrecy... He hadn't had some kind of near death experience, had he? She had heard that those could affect some people strangely... If that was the case, though, was Severus still in danger? No, surely Dumbledore would... would do something?

Sev's next comment had her staring at him in confusion.

"A... three-day-long bad dream?" she asked. "Actually, that does sound really awful."

She took his hand in hers again. "You are acting pretty strange," she managed a smile. "But at least you're alright now. You had me worried sick, you know."

Lily glanced around, and lowered her voice conspiratorially.  
"And you'd better tell me what happened later. Not knowing has been driving me completely mental."

Severus nodded and whipped the tears from his eyes. "I will ... just ... not now." He said, not bothering to correct her. Three days? It was over twenty years. "After I get out of here, do you want to go to the library? It's quiet in there and we can talk. We'll just look like we're studying right?" He asked. He really didn't need to study, he'd ace every single on of his exams, blind folded with both arms crossed. But he had to keep up appearances.

Severus wondered if he should be keeping this from Dumbledore. Should he tell him? He knew if he told Dumbledore it would be as good as signing himself into the Order ... he didn't want that. He didn't want to be involved. Not this time around.

Lily nodded. "Sounds like a plan." She smiled slightly. "Maybe we could even get some actual studying in too, while we're at it? OWLs are next week, and you've lost three whole days' worth of studying."

That, and her own concentration hadn't exactly been in peak condition over the past few days, what with her best friend lying unconscious in the Hospital Wing.

If he really was still her best friend... Well, right now, it certainly looked that way. He was acting a little strangely, but... but at the same time... could she really have her Sev back? The Sev who kept secrets _with_ her, rather than _from_ her?


	2. I've been crossed

Chapter 2

Later that day after Poppy had released Severus from the hospital wing he walked towards Dumbledore's office, his hands shoved in the pockets of his faded gray school uniform pants. He didn't put on his grey jacket this time, even though it was part of the uniform. Just his white shirt and tie, and sweater vest. He was sure that he would get a bit of a scolding from Dumbledore for incorrect decorum, but it didn't matter to him. He wasn't afraid of Dumbledore. The question here was ... how much was he going to tell the old man.

He walked up to the stone phoenix and looked up at it. "Pigmy Puffs." He said, after a few moments of consideration. Dumbledore's passwords were based on a pattern, and after working for the man for nearly seventeen years, he'd picked up on the pattern. It was nearing the end of June, so his password would be Pigmy Puffs. The phoenix spun and moved upwards, Snape jumping up onto the stair as it moved up, so that he would not have to climb the stairs.

Once he reached the top he moved forward through the hallway and raised his hand to the door. He was so used to just coming into Albus' office, he didn't even realize until it was to late that a student knowing Albus' office password would be ... unusual.

Albus Dumbledore heard the stone stairwell shift, and footsteps approach his office door, before pausing, as if the person on the other side, so confident moments ago, was suddenly unsure whether he should be there.

_Curious indeed. _Albus raised an eyebrow.

"Do come in, Mr. Snape," he called out serenely, as if students just wandered their way in all the time.  
Given the time, it was almost undoubtedly the young Slytherin. Though how he had known the password, was still a mystery.

Albus straightened his robes and settled into a chair behind his desk.

Severus paused, his hand raised to knock and swallowed loudly. His hand shaking slightly. This was different than the first time he'd seen Albus in the hospital wing. This was him, going to see Albus. Albus, who had been dead for over a year, by his own hand. He closed his eyes and licked his lips. He lowered his hand down to the handle and twisted. Fear gripping him that this was all a dream. That he'd open the door and Albus' portrait would be on the wall. The sound of the Carrows down in the court yards torturing his students.

No ... that was the past. Or ... the future ... Severus didn't want to get involved in this again. He'd done his time. But ... he could not allow that future to come to pass. He could not allow Voldemort to take over this school. He could not allow Voldemort to kill Lily or James, or allow Bellatrix to torture Neville's parents into insanity. No ... he could not stand idly by and watch as the people around him withered and fell. He was not the Severus he had been when he had been a boy ... No one cared about him, he had long since grown used to that ... but he could not allow the people that mattered in this world to fall ... not when he could stop it. No matter the burden, the weight, he put on himself.

He opened his eyes and turned the door knob and stepped quietly into the room. "Headmaster." Severus greeted, rather nervously.

Albus studied the boy's face as he entered.

He was nervous, afraid. And, after his ordeal, he had every reason to be. Perhaps he thought that he was in disciplinary trouble on top of that. Of course, he had been through enough already, and Albus did not wish to worsen that... But this would still be an extremely unpleasant conversation. What Albus was about to require of Snape was fundamentally unfair. And young people always keenly felt when they were being treated unfairly. Unfortunately, there was no choice.

"Please," Albus said with a small smile. "Sit down." He gestured to a chair across the desk from him.

"You are quite on time. Though I must ask," he looked at Snape over the rims of his half-moon spectacles. "How did you know the password for my office?"

Severus opened his mouth to speak before he closed it again, he licked his lips before he spoke. "Lucky guess, I suppose." He said, though he knew Albus would know he was lying. He could feel the man probing at his mind, and put up his occlumency shields. He didn't want Albus knowing anything that that he didn't want him to know.

"You asked me to come here for a reason I believe?" Still in character for this age, and yet, straight to the point. He wanted to get this conversation over with, so that he could go and think about how much he wanted to tell him. He needed time to think, get his information straight without providing anything Albus shouldn't know.

For the second time since their initial talk in the Hospital Wing, Albus encountered a highly complex set of Occlumency shields, startlingly advanced for the boy's age. If his marks in his classes were any indication, Severus Snape was uncommonly bright, or at least uncommonly studious. Yet to possess the concentration for such effective Occlumency at so young an age... Was the boy always this guarded, or was there something specific that he wanted to hide? While Snape certainly seemed to be the naturally mistrusting type, he clearly did not wish the Headmaster to know how he had accessed his office.

Albus raised an eyebrow. "Or perhaps an educated guess," he said mildly. "That is often more effective... But you are right. I digress from the subject at hand."

Not without pity, Albus fixed a direct stare at the young Slytherin. "Mr. Snape, you remember that earlier I told you not to speak of what happened in the Shrieking Shack, or of what you saw. I am going to have to ask that you continue to keep Mr. Lupin's secret indefinitely."

He waited for the boy's questions, or an outburst of anger or bitterness. Any objections Snape had needed to happen here, where Albus could reason with him, and where no one else would hear.

Severus nodded. "I understand." He said simply. Before Albus could inquire as to his odd behavior, Severus continued. "There are a multitude of reasons that you could have for keeping me silent. The ones I can figure how ever, or probably only a few. The first of which, Lupin ... would be taken by the ministry and to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures and would most likely be put to death for the dangers he had posed to a student who was not in fact killed or bitten. The second, Black, would be expelled and would create an outrage with the Black family who hold much power in the wizarding world. The third, and I suppose the most important of all to you, is that you would loose your job. You allowed a werewolf into a school filled with students where he could potentially get out and harm who knows how many children, because you thought it best that he needed an education where as the Ministry does not. So in the end ... I suppose the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. After all ... what am I but an insignificant Slytherin bound to be a death eater? I matter not so long as every one else benefits from it. Who cares if I get thrown under the hippogriff so to speak."

He knew Albus was going to argue and held his hand up to stop him. "Don't try to deny it. I've long since come to terms with it. My own parents didn't care about me, why should anyone else? I will keep Lupin's secret ... after all ... Keeping secrets is really all I'm good for isn't it?" he said more than asked as he leaned back in his chair. "I mean no disrespect to you, Headmaster. But you always silently accuse anyone in Slytherin of aspiring to be a death eater ... I think perhaps most of the teachers do. But perhaps if you actually stop to think a moment, you'll realize that they do because they have no one else to turn to. Perhaps if you stopped coddling your Gryffindors for five minutes, and actually paid any attention to my house ... You'd realize just how much we need your support instead of your back."

Albus sat very quietly through the young Slytherin's rant... and listened. The Headmaster had expected and been fully prepared for any number of responses. This was not one of them.

Every single point hit hard. The way he cut through to the heart of the matter, critically analyzing every motive... Severus Snape spoke like a true Slytherin, but certainly not like an average teenager. His cold, political analysis sounded like an adult, fully reasoned and eloquently worded. But underneath it all hung the bitterness of a boy who had been forced to grow up too fast, and was far too intelligent for a world this unfair.

In light of that, his comment about his parents certainly rang true. Had anyone ever cared for this boy? Ever? And with so sharp an intellect, why had Albus never noticed him before? Until now, Severus Snape had barely crossed Albus Dumbledore's awareness, registering only as: 'Slytherin, academically successful, possible Death Eater.'

The boy was absolutely, mercilessly right. Albus liked to think that he cared more than that, for all of his students. That his primary motivation right now was keeping Lupin alive, not keeping his job. But what was the point in arguing that to this bitter young man? Albus had to wonder... what if he had caught notice of Snape sooner? Or others? What if he could have prevented all of this? What if...

For a long, silent moment, Albus stared back at the boy, with an outward expression of calm. But beneath that veneer, Snape's words had genuinely shaken him.

"Severus," Albus said finally. "You have every right to feel as you do. But... this is not the only thing you are angry about, is it." He watched the boy's face carefully and said: "And I am not the only one who has demanded that you keep secrets, am I."

Severus Snape knew something. And, however bitter the boy might be, this could be the first opportunity Albus had to openly discuss the Death Eater problem with a potentially informed student.

Severus raised his eyebrows at the man. "Oh, I am not angry, Headmaster. But you are correct in your assessment that you are not the only one to ask me to keep secrets. Now your next question you ask, is one you ask yourself. Do you want me as an enemy, or as an ally? I have my secrets Albus, more than Lord Voldemort the one you've told me to keep today. Your actions though ... will determine if I will be willing to share them with you ... or use them against you." He said watching him. He knew he would not use them against Albus, he had every intention of helping the light. The faster Voldemort was defeated the sooner he could start a regular life. Hopefully one with Lily. But if he wanted this to work, he would need Albus' natural curiosity to peak, for Albus to want to dig hard enough. To become desperate enough for the information.

"I have no doubt that since I've walked into this room you've been trying to use Legilimency on me ... you can save your energy, it will not work. Any information I have, I will give if I determine that you are deserving of this information. Though I will tell you this ... the information I hold, will help you bring the fall of the dark lord. Withholding it, could bring his success." He said watching Albus' reactions. "The ball is in your court as the Muggles say. The next move is yours." He said raising from his seat. He knew from his short discussion here that Albus suspected he wasn't who he was mere days ago. He paused by the door and looked over his shoulder at Albus. "I hope, for both our sakes, and many others ... that your move is the right one." He said before exiting the door and leaving Albus to think it over for himself.

Oh, the boy certainly knew something.

Could his information really be as crucial as he let on? Could this young man's testimony really undo Lord Voldemort? And if so, how had he come by it? Certainly not in the Slytherin common room; Tom Riddle may be overconfident, but he was certainly not foolish enough to make such sensitive information common knowledge among the new recruits at Hogwarts. And yet...

Where Legilimency failed, Albus could still study Snape's manner, voice, face, and his eyes. Whether or not his information was that important, Severus truly _believed_ that it was. And when a boy this intelligent, this alarmingly perceptive, so strongly _believed_ something, it was worth taking note. While maybe not the absolute key to Voldemort's downfall, Severus Snape's knowledge was an asset that Albus could not afford to lose.

As for whether Albus wanted Snape as an ally or as an enemy... the answer to that was clear enough, if Severus really was giving him the option. Everything about the way the young Slytherin spoke indicated that he would one day be a force to be reckoned with... and was probably one already.

Now that Severus seemed to have recovered from the initial shock of his ordeal, something else was clear: Severus Snape was, on some fundamental level, different than he had been three days ago. Where before he had slouched in the shadows, every movement guarded as if he wished he could disappear... Now there was confidence. Out of nowhere had emerged a young man who was comfortable with himself and his abilities, and cared little for what others might think of him. And that underlying bitterness, while still there, was something Snape had come to terms with and made his own. What else had changed about him? If only Albus had taken notice of him sooner, he might have some clue. But alas, Severus Snape had somehow skirted around the edges of the Headmaster's awareness.

What could have caused such a transformation? What had happened to him out at the Shrieking Shack, while life-changing, was certainly not the sort of experience to inspire confidence. Indeed, confidence like this never simply emerged overnight. It was the sort of confidence that took years to develop.

Over the rims of his half-moon spectacles, Albus scrutinized Severus as he so nonchalantly turned to take his leave.

"I believe," Albus said quietly. "That we shall be having another talk again soon, Severus."

He was fairly certain that, whatever Severus knew, he _wanted_ to tell him. Doubtless, the young Slytherin wanted something in return, and would make his terms known before long.

In the meantime, Albus had some reflecting to do. Perhaps going over everything Snape had said, from the moment he awakened in the Hospital Wing, would shed some light on the subject. A brief Pensieve trip was in order. This time, he would pay closer attention.


	3. I've been beaten

Chapter 3

Lily waited in the library, getting some studying in. She might as well. There was no telling how long Severus's meeting with Professor Dumbledore would run... Or whether Sev would show up at all. If he stood her up for his pureblood supremacist buddies one more time, she'd be sorely tempted to hex him into next week.

She didn't want to think about that now, not after she'd been so worried about him for days, and it finally looked like things were going to be alright again. But he couldn't keep acting that way and then expect everything to be the same between them.

Something had to change.

Severus walked quietly into the library, walking past Madam Pince who glared at him as he walked past. Ever since his second year when he'd spilled a jar of ink all over a rather expensive book, which he still remembered as even in his time the glare did not stop, she'd been glaring at him.

He saw lily sitting at a table near the back behind one of the large book shelves. Good, at least she thought ahead. No one would notice his muffliato there. He approached Lily and sat down in front of her, placing his books on the table, his bag on the chair next to him.

"Hello." He said quietly, pulling out his wand and casting muffliato.

Lily looked up as Severus joined her, noting that he cast Muffliato. They should be able to talk freely now. Her face brightened. "Hey. How are you feeling?"

He certainly seemed calmer now, less confused than in the Hospital Wing. Which was probably a good sign; his entire emotional state had seemed so... un-Severus-like. That alone had worried her, almost as much as him being hurt in the first place.

Maybe now he could finally tell her what was going on.

"I am well. I wasn't hurt to badly. Apparently I konked my head pretty hard trying to get out of the shrieking shack before Potter showed up." He said with a shrug. "Ill live." He said pulling forward one of his books. He didn't really feel like talking about what had happened, mainly because for him it was old news. But he knew she was going to ask him anyway.

Lily stared. "The Shrieking Shack? Severus, what in Merlin's name were you even doing there? I'd expect that kind of recklessness from Potter, but..."

A disturbing thought occurred to her. Her expression darkened. "What did Potter do?"

"Oh, potter didn't do anything." He said looking at lily. He'd forgotten how much she used to hate that git. "He saved me actually. I need your promise that you will not tell anyone what I tell you here. I was sworn to secrecy and shouldn't even be telling you. Swear?" He asked.

Lily's eyes widened. What could Severus have encountered that was so dangerous that James Look-At-My-Giant-Ego Potter felt the need to _save_ him?

"I swear," she said earnestly. At least Sev had come to her with this; it had been awhile since he'd confided in her about anything.

"You remember my theory that Lupin is a werewolf? Well that theory is fact. The tunnel under that whomping willow leads to the shrieking shack where he transforms every full moon. I wa stupid and walked right into a room with a fully grown werewolf." He said. "James is an animagus, his form is a stag and he'd shown and and knocked Lupin away from me. In my haste to get out I fell and must have knocked myself unconscious." He said, easily hiding his embarrassment as it didn't bother him anymore. "Potter must have gotten me out of there. The next thing I knew I woke up in the hospital wing."

Lily stared, processing the information that he had thrown to her so matter-of-factly.  
She went slightly pale.

"You... were in the Shrieking Shack with a _werewolf_? Sev, how are you so calm about this? You could have died, or... or... or ended up as one yourself!"

Like poor Remus. He'd always seemed like a nice enough guy, unobjectionable except for his inability to reign in his idiot friends. But he didn't deserve to go through life as a werewolf. No one did.  
She'd always thought that Severus's theory was just founded on spite for the group as a whole. And now that it was confirmed, he was taking it so calmly?

"Aren't you angry that you're not allowed to talk about it?"

"I am talking about it." Severus said, "though I shouldn't be. Why should I be angry? It was my fault I went into the shack, and I am for the most part uninjured. The damage done of I spoke would be far worse than if I did." He said with a shrug, he knew there was nothi that could get lily to quiet her objections. But Severus didn't feel the need to talk if the event.

"Yes but- still, they just..." Lily took a deep breath. "You're right, Severus, I know that. Lupin didn't ask for this, and his life would be pretty much over if you outed him, and you're being weirdly mature about the whole thing, but..."

Why was that, anyway? Because Potter had saved his life?

"But you still could have died! Do you not even care about that?"

Would Dumbledore still have kept the secret then? If Severus had died, would they have just covered it up, and swept the whole thing under the rug? She could have lost her oldest friend and never even known how it happened.

She shook her head, furious. "How do they not have better precautions in place? To keep students from just... wandering in on that?! How is that a responsible way to run a school!?"

Lily frowned slightly, suddenly thoughtful, then looked over at Severus.  
"How did you even know there was a tunnel there, anyway?"

"Black told me. He told me how to get in. I shouldn't have listened. I should have known better." He said. "Honestly, I'm fine."

"You shouldn't-" Lily repeated in disbelief. She felt her hands clench into fists. "Well yes, you bloody well should have known better than to listen to Sirius Black, but that hardly makes it alright, now does it?! Did he think it would be funny, almost getting you killed? And now he's just getting away with it!"

That absolute bastard. Sirius Black could be a complete git, but she had never thought that he would go this far. Even Potter knew better.

"I would assume that he hadn't thought about the danger he was putting me in when he told me. Perhaps he was just thinking of the fright he would give me ... Then again, you know how much he hates me, perhaps he tried to have done with me. Who knows. But it hardly matters anymore. I am here, I am alive, I am unbitten. And I get to sit back and laugh as Black has detention with Filch all next year and has been forbidden to speak of that to anyone either lest he be expelled." He said, even though Dumbledore hadn't told him that part, it was what had happened originally and he had no doubt it would happen again.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "With Filch?"

If it were anyone else's fate, she would have felt sorry for them. Under other circumstances, she'd have even felt sorry for Sirius Black... but not this time. This time, even Filch didn't seem like nearly enough.

"Well," she sighed. "At least there's that."

She tucked a stray lock of hair back behind her ear. "I don't know, Sev. I'm really glad you're okay. And I guess it's good that you're handling it so well, but..." She looked over at him. "I don't understand how you're so _rational_ about it. It's just not natural."

She was silent for a moment, then said quietly: "It's just... you had me so worried, and... and the last time we talked before it happened, I was yelling at you."

Severus looked at her curiously. He couldn't remember them fighting before that day down by the lake. "You were?" Severus asked, his eyebrow raised. "I don't remember." He said flippantly. "I don't know why I'm so rational about it I just ... feel different, is all." He said, unable to tell her just how different. "Believe me, I think everything is going to be different now. You can count on that. I can't explain it but ... I don't know ... maybe that blow to the noggin knocked a few screws back into place." He said with a slight chuckle.

Lily laughed. "Well, don't go doing it again, okay? You'll need that noggin for OWL's next week."

Something really was different about him, though. She just couldn't figure out what. But all that anger that had been constantly boiling under the surface for quite some time seemed to have just... evaporated.


	4. By the ones that get me off

Chapter 4

Severus tapped his quill against his book as Slughorn talked about Polyjuice potion, it's scent, it's colour, it's texture ... Severus was so bored. Any potion that Slughorn could teach him he could make blind folded and ten times better than the textbook and Slughorns instruction combined. He tossed his quick back into the ink pot and leaned back in his chair. When was this class over? OWL's were in two days and these classes were just dragging on ... he couldn't imagine doing this for two more years.

"Excuse me." Slughorn's lesson stopped briefly as a third year Hufflepuff came to the door. "Um ... The Headmaster wishes to speak to Mr. Snape." Slughorn stared at the boy a moment before he responded.

"Of course, of course." He said waving at Snape to leave. Snape glanced at Lily and picked up his bag, leaving his text book for Lily as she'd left hers in her rooms and hadn't had time to go get hers. She'd bring it to him later anyway.

Lily looked over at Severus, confused. What could Professor Dumbledore want with him now? There were worse classes to pull him out of, though. Severus was a natural genius at potions and, if the look on his face were any indication, he hadn't been getting anything out of today's lesson anyway. If anything, Dumbledore had just saved him from dying of boredom.

She'd just have to ask Sev what Dumbledore wanted when she gave him his book back.

He made his way towards Dumbledore's office, wondering exactly what move Albus was about to make. He approached the gargoyle. Two days before OWL's ... Severus thought a moment.

"Gob Stoppers." He said, the Phoenix starting to spin upwards. Severus jumped up onto the stair again and once he reached the top he made his way to the door, knocking on it gently.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

This time, Albus was not at all surprised to hear the shifting of the spiral staircase, or the quiet knocking on his office door.

"Come in, Mr. Snape," he said. "Another lucky guess, I see."

Since their earlier meeting, the Headmaster had formed several possible theories for how Snape knew the things he knew, and why he might be acting as he did. None of these theories were fully formed, as of yet, the nebulous logistics still escaping him. Perhaps further interaction with the young man would help to clarify things.

Severus stepped forward. "Yes. Another lucky guess. It's not as if your passwords are that hard. There's only so many candy's you like." He said sitting down in the chair he so commonly frequented as an adult. "You wished to see me?" He asked, knowing what this was about.

Albus nodded, examining Snape's face, but not bothering with Legilimency this time.

"Yes," he said calmly. "I wish to discuss what you know. Doubtless, you would like to do so on your own terms. But we both know that you are too clever to bring up the subject if you did not already intend to aid the fight against Lord Voldemort. That leaves us the question of what you expect in return."

"There are a few things I'd like in return, yes. Firstly, I'd like your trust. Secondly, I need to have a hand in the decisions when it comes to taking him down. Thirdly ... I'd like, with your permission to gather a small group of people together. I already know who I have in mind, who would be willing to stand against him. This group must be student based, as if there are a teachers influence I believe it will hider the students willing to join. Not to mention it could get any teacher involved into trouble with the ministry. I also have a location this can be done and someone in mind to lead this group, with my direction of course." He watched Dumbledore for his reaction. He knew this was a lot to ask, but he hoped Dumbledore would see the motivation behind it. "And lastly, I need unsupervised access to the advanced potions lab. I don't care what excuse you use to achieve it ... But those are my terms. Can you promise these things?"

Albus Dumbledore raised his eyebrows slightly. He had been expecting a request for protection. If Snape's information really could be that instrumental in bringing about Lord Voldemort's downfall, the boy risked making himself some very powerful enemies if word ever got out. Furthermore, with all the clandestine Death Eater recruitment inside Slytherin, now was a very dangerous time to be a Slytherin acting in direct opposition to Voldemort.

This... was different. The young Slytherin was not attempting to gain security from potential enemies. Indeed, he was requesting an even more active role in the fight... a more active role than Albus was really comfortable granting to students. Yet... Voldemort was already recruiting from within the school. Unfortunately, it might well be necessary to start doing the same. There was a certain edge to be gained from having trained, capable, and dedicated Hogwarts graduates, ready to oppose the Death Eater movement as soon as they were out of school. It seemed that Snape's primary concerns lay in being able to act freely. Though his intentions _seemed_ good, he spoke like a young man who had already been manipulated far too many times, and refused to be kept in the dark again.

Albus stared at the boy from over the rims of his half moon spectacles.

"I would say that you do not fully understand what you are asking of me," he said slowly. "But that is not the case, is it?"

He thought a moment longer, then said: "Trust will have to come with time. You can hardly expect complete trust immediately, when you are so reluctant to trust me. For your second request... I cannot guarantee that I will consult you on all decisions I make. But I will try to consult you on any decisions that could affect you directly. As for this small, student-run group... it will have to be kept secret. Furthermore, I must know who is involved, and I will expect regular reports on the group's activities."  
He was quiet for a moment, then continued: "Because this group is comprised of students, their focus should be additional Defense Against the Dark Arts training, not taking reckless chances. As for the advanced potions lab," he smiled slightly. "I do believe a bright young mind like yours could benefit from some Independent Study."

Dumbledore looked across the desk. "Does that suit you, Severus?"

"I will agree to this." Severus said. "I cannot tell you everything, but I can tell you what you need to know. Keeping in mind I do not understand it myself. As I'm sure you've noticed I am not who I was a mere week ago. I am Severus Snape, but of a different time. I will request that you allow me to finish before asking any of your questions." Snape said continuing before Dumbledore could respond.

"You were correct in the assessment that that I had been planning on becoming a death eater. Lily was no longer my fiend, and I took the mark at the beginning of my sixth year. I had a feeling you suspected as much but had no proof. Nor the care to do anything about it. When I was 19 I over heared a prophesy that Sybil Trelawny told you, a prophesy depicting the downfall of lord voldemort. Wanting to get higher in rank, I ran to the dark lord and told him everything id heard. Little did I know te prophesy was about Lilys son.

I begged the dark lord to spare her, but I didn't trust him. So I came to you. You promised to keep her ... Them ... Safe, in return for my servitude, but in the end, he killed her and her husband. The child survived, and the dark lord was vanquished. Or so everyone thought.

Thirteen years later, Peter Pettigrew, who was believed dead by Sirius Blacks hand, and who had actually been a death eater since eighteen, brought Voldemort back to full strength. I became a spy for the order or the Phoenix, and a puppet for you." Severus thought about how he should continue this because this was where things get sticky.

"I don't think I have to tell you how bad things got after that. In the end the dark lord had taken over Hogwarts, and the ministry. A battle took place in Hogwarts an many people, students and adults alike where brutally murdered in battle.

I was summoned by the dark lord, who no longer had use of me. But he thought I had something he wanted. So he killed me ... He sent his giant snake after me. Bit right into my neck. I couldn't do anything about it. And I didn't want to. It had been seventeen years since I've wanted to die ... And I was finally getting my wish. The next thing I knew, I'm waking up in the hospital wing. It's why I was asking which Potter. Harry Potter, James Potters son, was one of my students here for six years before he dropped out in his seventh due to sercumsance."

What Severus was telling him, was just the beginning. And just barely scratching the surface of what actually happened, but it was enough to make Dumbledore understand.

Albus Dumbledore listened quietly. As of yet, he had no proof of Snape's story... but there was not a doubt in his mind that the boy believed it. While this explanation was not precisely one of his theories, it was very closely tied to one of them... and it would certainly explain another factor, one that none of Albus's theories could account for. He would ask about that later.

"Sybil Trelawny, you said," Albus thought the matter over. "What was in the prophecy? I know that was many years ago for you, but can you remember?"

Of course he remembered it, how could he forget? It had haunted him for nearly seventeen years.

_"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives ... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies ..."_

Severus recited by heart. He didn't learn the other half until later but it still haunted him.

"I see," Albus said quietly, then looked Severus directly in the eye. "You said you did not originally realize that the prophecy involved Lily's son... Were there any others at the time that it could have referred to? And, when the child survived and Voldemort appeared to be vanquished, how did that happen?"

The more he thought about this, the more that these events seemed subject to change. But by analyzing the details now, he could piece together an understanding of what Voldemort was doing that he would never have gained so quickly otherwise.

"The dark lord believed it could have been another child. Neville Longbottom. I believe Frank and Alice just got married. In four years time they'll both be tortured into insanity, and their son left in the care of his grandmother. Nervous wreck that kid ... Horrid at potions." He said with a bit of a sneer. "He had a good heart though ... For what ever that was worth" he said looking around the office before looking back at Dumbledore.

"As for how he was defeated the first time, I'm unsure. You knew, but you kept much from me. And there is one key thing in defeating the dark lord. Something he has that you sent Potters son to find and destroy. But you would not tell me what it was." He said watching Dumbledore wondering if he already knew.

Albus nodded slowly. That did seem to fit the pattern for a theory that he had... And if it had taken him so long to destroy them, there had to be more than one Horcrux, well-hidden, well-protected, and spread out over multiple locations. Evidently, it had also taken Riddle a long time to return... but if the Horcrux theory was correct, then Voldemort would have had all the time he needed to come back.

"At the time, however, and this is very important, did the world at large believe Lord Voldemort to be dead?"

And how did Potter's son figure into the picture? Albus suspected that Snape was not telling him everything on the matter, but he would leave it for now.

"It took a full year, and the minister of magic to see voldemort himself before he believed it. even though i had shown him my black burning dark mark which i hadnt answered upon his return. As for the Potter boy ... It was believed, by you, that a part of Voldemorts soul clung to Potter when he was just a baby. He would have to die for the dark lord to be defeated."

Albus was silent for a long moment.  
That certainly would confirm it... If Tom Riddle truly had been making Horcruxes, it was possible that his soul might become unstable enough for it to happen. Of course, the time when that would be most likely...

"Thank you, Mr. Snape," Albus said, glancing away. "You have confirmed what, until now has been only a theory."  
He looked up again, staring straight at Severus.  
"James Potter's son," he said quietly. "And Lily Evans's son. They were the same person, were they not?"

Of course, there were any number of children who had lost parents to Lord Voldemort, and countless more within the years of Snape's experience. But Albus doubted that there were many whom Voldemort had failed to kill, and only one that had left the Dark Lord temporarily defeated afterwards. And that was the only time that Voldemort's soul was likely to attach a piece of itself to an infant. Riddle would never create such a fragile Horcrux intentionally. Albus did not know this to be true for certain... but he was counting on Severus's reaction to reveal it.

Severus stared at him a moment. He slipped. Seventeen years of being a double agent, a master of lies and deception ... And he slipped.

"What makes you say that?" Severus asked, an eyebrow raised in confusion, now looking back on what he'd said. No, he couldn't have slipped up ... It was Dumbledore jumping to conclusions again.

Remarkable. Severus's face and voice were entirely unreadable. Indeed, the mild confusion appeared genuine. Perhaps it was. Once again, Dumbledore did not attempt Legilimency. It was pointless with Severus... and that was just in the Headmaster's office. No doubt around Voldemort, Snape had been in the habit of applying Occlumency so advanced that the Legilimens could not even tell that he was hiding something.  
No wonder Albus had made him his spy.

"A few things," the Headmaster smiled slightly. "Nothing conclusive, however. You never once mentioned the father of Lily's son, nor the mother of Potter's. Of course, they could simply be people I have not yet heard of at this point in time. Though it did seem peculiar to me that you never mentioned Lily's son, the boy in the prophecy, after the night when he survived Lord Voldemort's attack. Yet Potter's son was mentioned repeatedly. I also could not help but wonder why I sent this seventeen-year-old boy to destroy this unnamed item of Voldemort's. Something I was so secretive about that I would not tell my own spy? What was so special about Harry Potter that I told him? Why did I think him capable of the task, or find it necessary to send him into harm's way? Then there is the matter of the soul..."

Which would have left the Headmaster with very few options. Albus's hint of a smile faded. He would continue to do what was necessary to fight back the darkness... but it seemed that he would have much to answer for in the future. He already did now.

Albus shook his head.

"But that is just one of many possibilities. At the moment, all possibilities remain open. Your presence here, now, with access to this information, already constitutes a change in the course of events that you know. Perhaps this time the Chosen One will be Neville Longbottom, or a child born in July who did not exist in your timeline at all. Perhaps the prophecy itself will be changed, or will never be foretold. Or perhaps..."

He looked pointedly at Severus. "Perhaps the choice that you have made today will help us to defeat Lord Voldemort sooner, and avoid that chain of events entirely. That is what you are hoping for, is it not?"

Albus Dumbledore could not believe that this had happened without a reason. Whatever the cause, Severus Snape had been given a second chance. And, if the right actions were taken, he might not be the only one to benefit from it.

Severus leaned back in his chair, contemplating what Albus had said. He rolled the words around in his head, knowing Dumbledore was a master manipulator.

"They are one in the same." Severus said cautiously. The man would find out soon enough anyway.

It was quite telling to see how cautiously Severus thought through his answer. How many times over the years had Albus had to use him? To send him into danger? To ask him to witness terrible things? How many reasons had Albus given him not to trust him?

And yet here he was.

That too spoke volumes.

Evidently, Severus had not particularly wanted him to know the origins of the Potter child... But the motive Albus suspected was far from sinister. According to Snape's story, it was fear for Lily that had brought him over to the light, and most likely her memory that had kept him there. And, by the time Severus had died, he had lost the will to live seventeen years ago... which, given Harry's age, corresponded with Lily's death.

If it was indeed only friendship, it was certainly a strong one.

Albus had to tread carefully. If his suspicions were correct...  
Severus might be sixteen again, but whatever feelings he had for Lily Evans, they were far more than a young man's infatuation. Snape had just become a vital ally in the fight against Lord Voldemort. And if his motivations still hinged around his feelings for Lily, then Albus could not afford to treat those emotions lightly.

Albus nodded. "Again, circumstances have already changed," he said calmly. "We shall see how events unfold this time. Regardless, the original wording of the prophecy places a certain emphasis on Lord Voldemort's choice, whom he marks as his equal... specific parentage may not be a necessary factor... if the same prophecy even still applies."

Over the rims of his half-moon spectacles, the Headmaster looked Severus directly in the eyes, letting his message sink in: Albus would not interfere in matters of that nature.

"Now, on to more immediate concerns. Who do you have in mind to lead this student resistance of yours?"

Severus relaxed slightly. Albus wasn't going to meddle. Then again, he had lied to him before. But at least for now he had his word. He regarded Albus as he asked who he had in mind to lead the group.

"It would only be natural that it would be James Potter." Severus said, easily hiding the smirk that wanted to tug at the edge if his lips. He wondered how Albus would react to that a briefly wondered if it would result in a heart attack.

Albus Dumbledore's eyebrows shot up.

"James... Potter," he repeated, disbelieving. "And why precisely would that be... only natural?"

Thinking it over, it was not a bad choice, from an objective standpoint... but Severus Snape was the last person Albus would have expected to suggest it. Especially in light of what Dumbledore had just surmised.

"He is a natural born leader and many students look up to him ... Given my direction, this group coul be successful. And he is directly apposed to the dark lord. He will stand and fight ... He is the figure head the students want, and will listen to. He is popular, and dare I say, intelligent, his attention span not withstanding ... There is no one more willing to do this than him ... Not to mention his son started something similar in his fifth year. I have no doubts that he will rise to the occasion. Should he decline working with me though ... I will obliviate him of the conversation and choose someone else." Severus said. "Once I leave I will comprise a list of people I know will join, and a list of people who may join.

I will approve anyone before they join, and a you say you will know who is all involved. Allow me until 7 to tonight, and I will gather all the information and details you will need. As potter to be here around 740 if you could? Does this suit your schedule?" He asked knowing full well that was his free time.

He wondered if Dumbledore would take this opportunity to test him again.

Again, Albus had to raise an eyebrow. Just how many people had the older Severus Snape Obliviated over the years? And he seemed fully confident that he could safely wipe Potter's memory of just the conversation, without doing further damage... otherwise, he would surely have expected Dumbledore to object.

It was interesting, in its own right, that Potter's son had started a similar organization in his fifth year.  
Further, it seemed that, over a distance of years, Severus was now able to view James's potential more objectively. Dumbledore knew better than to assume that bygones were bygones... As a spy, Severus had no doubt had to associate himself with far more unsavory individuals. Despite any lingering personal grievances, James Potter would not be the most difficult person that Snape had worked with.

He would have to see, however, how the two interacted in his office later on. "Yes," Albus said serenely. "I am free during that time." As Severus no doubt knew from experience.

Severus nodded to him and stood from his chair. "I shall return here for seven then." He said leaving the room without so much as a good bye, nor permission to leave.

(A/N – Well there's another chapter, I'll upload one more today before I head off to bed.)


	5. I've been cut

Chapter 5

Severus slung his satchel over his shoulder as he made his way into the dinning hall. It wasn't a feast, so where you sat never mattered. Like always the Slytherin's sat by themselves at the table on the far left, the other three houses generally sticking to their own houses, but a good portion of Hufflepuff's were smattered across the other houses, a few Gryffindors at the Ravenclaw table, and a few Ravenclaw's at the other tables. Severus moved to the Gryffindor table, walking past James Potter who glanced at him but for once, ignored him.

Perhaps he felt guilty about what Sirius had done to him. It seemed like Black was still in detention with Filch. He paused just beyond him and looked back at him. "Dumbledore wished to see you in his office at 7:30." Severus said before making his way over to Lily who was a bit farther down the table.

"Right," James muttered, not looking up again. Well, that was weird.

Why had Snape been spending so much time with Dumbledore all of a sudden? What did Dumbledore want to see him about? Not the Shrieking Shack thing again? Sirius was already doing time with Filch; James was off the hook, but only because he'd been quick enough to shove Snivellus out of the way.  
James guessed he'd technically saved Snape's life. He didn't feel particularly heroic, though. He didn't know how to feel about it at all.

And if he had to hear Padfoot complain about the detentions one more damn time, especially in front of Moony, there was going to be a scuffle. Sirius had fucked up. And James had fucked up for not catching it sooner. And now Snivellus was sitting with Lily, and James didn't even have the heart to shove his greasy Slytherin head in a toilet for it.

o0o0o0o0o0o

"Hi, Sev!" Lily smiled up at Severus as he approached, and cleared her books off the table to make room for him to sit next to her.

A few dirty looks shot their way from the Slytherin table, with one or two from the Gryffindor table as well.

Lily ignored them. Honestly, you never saw Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff making such a big deal out of it. Lately, she found herself thinking that the whole house table system was ill-advised.  
She hoped Severus didn't catch any flack for this in the Slytherin Common Room later. But then, it wasn't exactly as if their friendship had ever been a secret. He had just been a little less... open about it this past year. Anyway, he had doubtless dealt with their disapproval before. Hopefully, he would be alright dealing with it again.

"So," she said. "What was all that about, with Professor Dumbledore? I heard you were excused from all your other classes today?"  
And with OWL's just next week. What could suddenly be so important?

"Oh!" she said. "I almost forgot." Lily handed Severus back his Potions book. "Though at the rate you're going, you really should just write your own textbook. You've almost got more notes in there than original text."

Severus took the book back from her. "I like knowing what notes went with what, you know me. I'm an organized mess." He said with a bit of a chuckle.

"Al- Dumbledore just had some things to discuss with me about my classes and my OWLs. If it goes past just a discussion, and isn't just swept under the rug, I'll tell you all about it. Consider it a surprise if it happens." He said. His education was another thing he wanted to discuss with Albus. He'd bring it up with him soon.

'Organized mess' was just about right. Lily had learned long ago that Sev's systems for keeping track of things might not make sense to an outsider, but suited him perfectly. Perhaps that was the point; he had never been particularly fond of others poking their noses into his business. And where Potions were concerned, Severus thought on an entirely different level anyway.

"Well, that's cryptic," Lily laughed. "You know, it's all well and good _discussing_ your classes and your OWLs, but do you intend to study for them as well? Or is this all just a part of your organized mess strategy?"

She was only teasing, of course. Mostly. Severus was undeniably brilliant, and had never had much trouble with exams before, but he seemed so preoccupied lately.

Severus laughed. "I'll be fine. I'm preparing for a bit tonight with Dumbledore." He said, "apparently I have a bright future ahead of me, and he's trying to corrupt me to be a Gryffindor. Next thing you know he'll be resorting me." He said pulling some food onto his plate.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Heaven forbid. Then you'd have to hang around with this lot."  
She smirked and added: "You might do well in Ravenclaw, though... if your Slytherin pride could tolerate it."

She was glad to hear that he really was preparing... though she couldn't help but wonder why Dumbledore had suddenly taken such a personal interest in Sev's future. Clearly there was more going on than Severus was willing to talk about for now... and that was fine. At least he was keeping her in the loop to the extent that he could. Anyway, it was Dumbledore he was conspiring with, not the Future Death Eaters of the United Kingdom...which, incidentally, would make a terrible acronym.  
Whatever this new development was, it seemed to make Sev happy... though she couldn't help but wonder whether some of his fellow Slytherins would let it go so easily. Maybe he and Dumbledore had planned for that contingency? Sev did tend to be pretty cautious... most of the time.

"Anyway," she raised her glass. "Here's to you and your bright future."

Severus smiled and held his glass up to her. He looked down at his plate and cleared his throat. "Hey, Lily?" He asked, suddenly seeming a bit nervous. "I was wondering ... If ..." Oh spit it out already! His mind screamed. He'd faced the dark Lord how many times, surly this would be easier. He looked up at Lily and cleared his throat. It really wasn't.

"I was wondering if, um ... The weekend after we return home if you'd ... Maybe go out to dinner with me?" He asked, staring at his plate again. Merlin's beard he hadn't felt more sixteen than he did at that moment. "I mean ... You know ... In celebration of finishing our OWLs."

Lily looked back at Severus, curious. What was he suddenly so nervous about? He'd seemed so confident a moment ago...

"Oh," she blinked. "Um... yeah, sure. That sounds great."

So Severus wanted to spend some time together over the summer holiday. But they did that all the time, so why was he nervous about... And then it hit her. Severus had just asked her out. But did that necessarily mean he was _asking her out_ out? They ate dinner together all the time, so did it have to mean... but why else would he be so nervous? Lily felt her face blush bright red.

"Because of OWLs," she repeated. "We should definitely celebrate."

Maybe that was all he meant by it. How embarrassing would it be if he found out she thought he'd meant... but what if he had? What if he'd just said that so it wouldn't be awkward? If that was the case, then she should just refuse to feel awkward about it. No need to agonize over what it meant for two people who had known each other for years to go out to dinner together. This was _Severus_, after all. Since when did she ever feel awkward around Sev?

She would have to think about this later... but there was still no reason not to go have dinner with her best friend.

Severus looked up at her when shed said yes, and had to restrain from physically deflating when she said "in celebration of OWLs". Well, he had said that in the first place, but when she said it it sounded more like a polite way if putting him into his place.

"Right." He said slowly picking at his food, but not really eating it. "I can't wait." He said finally taking a bite. He didn't know why she would agree to date him anyway. Why did he think shed suddenly be attracted to him instead of James Potter this time around?

Potter was good looking, popular, rich and from what he heard the man had a good heart after he'd 'grown up'. What did Severus have? He was ugly, poor, unliked and had a sour disposition.

...And once again, Severus was doing that thing where he made his face and body language unreadable.  
If Lily had to guess, though, she'd think he seemed... disappointed, somehow. Why? He'd wanted her to say yes, hadn't he? Was it because she'd latched onto his "in celebration of OWLs" clause?  
But... that would mean he really _was_ hoping to make it a date.

Lily didn't know how to feel about that. Reflecting over it now, the idea didn't _bother_ her exactly; it had just never really occurred to her before. She cared about Sev a lot, but... she had just never really thought of him that way before. Well, then. She would just have to figure it out. ...Hopefully without endangering their friendship in the meantime, or breaking her best friend's heart. Suddenly, exams seemed so much easier by comparison.

"Yeah," she responded. "It'll be fun."  
She went back to eating.

((A/N- Alright that's all for tonight folkes. Off to bed for me. Please R&R it's most greatly appreciated.))


	6. I've been opened up

((A/N – I'm sorry if this comes off as rude but I would appreciate it if people would read this. I appreciate all the reviews I've been getting but I've been getting some messages both through review and through PM some polite, some very very rude, complaining about my grammar and paragraph spacing. I am not going to apologize for my mistakes in this, as I have addressed in the first paragraph starting this story, this story is in much need of a beta ... A friend and I have spent MONTHS writing this fic and have over 200+ pages written and unfortunately neither of us have the time to go over it to correct that much writing. We're not kids living at home any further, we're both adults that are in school and working full time.

For the sake of this we are writing it because we enjoy writing, and are sharing it with you all because we enjoy the story we're writing. We are not required to post it up for you. We get no profit or pay from what we write, so spending another few hours going over it is not something either of us want to do nor have the time to. I have little patience for OCD and for those of you who have brought it to my attention, I appreciate the fact that you are bringing these errors to our attention, for those of you who where rude about it, go find another fanfic if you don't like it. From now on I will take a _quick_ look over each chapter, but if that is not to your satisfaction you will have to deal with it. Everything we write is voluntary and you are not required to read this as we are not required to post it.

I have edited the last few chapters so that the paragraphs flow better, and hopefully the grammar is a bit better as well. Anything further than what I have edited will require someone to volunteer to beta for me. Upside to beta, you will get to read a new chapter before it gets posted up.

If you are interested in being a beta please message me, my contact information is in my profile.

Thank you all for the reviews, and your understanding.))

Chapter 6

Severus slung his bag back onto his shoulder as he made his way to Dumbledore's office. He said the password and moved to the door way to knock. When he received the go ahead, he pushed open the door and moved to Dumbledore's desk.

"As promised, I have finished a list, and comprised some memories for you to view. They are specifically selected, but untampered with." He said handing both the list and two vials to Albus. "The green one is for your eyes only. The blue one may be used if Potter requires more proof. I'm sure you can understand why I'm showing him less than I'm showing you." He said more than asked.

"Thank you, Severus," Albus said, setting both the vials on his desk, and taking the list.  
Snape certainly was efficient.

The Headmaster thought it best to leave which information Potter received to Snape's discretion... at least for now. Though suited to the task of leading a student resistance, Potter did not have the benefit of years of experience and maturity that Snape did, and would be overwhelmed by a full disclosure of the possible future.

Potter would, no doubt, need to hear at least some of the truth, if only to gain some understanding of why he must work with Snape.

"I shall view both of these memories later, and respect your request for confidentiality."  
Albus began perusing the list of potential candidates for the student resistance group. He was somewhat surprised to see Lily Evans' name on the list, given Snape's concern for her and apparent interest in keeping her away from Potter... but chose not to comment on it. He wondered whether Severus had made the decision quickly, objectively like a machine, or whether he had spent hours weighing the pros and cons before he decided.

It did not surprise him, for that matter, to see that Sirius Black was absent from the list. Though some level of personal dislike may have been involved, Sirius was still far too immature and reckless at this point in time. Only six days ago, the boy had risked revealing Lupin's secret and endangering the life of a fellow student for an ill-thought-out prank. He simply was not ready for involvement in something this important.

Pettigrew, too, was absent from the list. Given what Snape had confided to him earlier, that was an obvious necessity. Albus wondered, however, whether Potter could be convinced to see it that way.

"You have chosen your potential members wisely," Albus nodded in approval. "I agree that Mr. Lupin would be far more reliable than Mr. Black at the present... You may have an interesting time convincing your chosen leader, however."

"I'm sure once he views those memories he will understand why. And I believe he doesn't fully trust Black at the present time. So it shouldn't be to hard to get him to understand why. The boy can't even keep his best friend secret how is he going to be expected to keep this?" He asked waving his hand at the items on the desk.

"There is something else I wished to speak to you about, if that's alright." He said pulling out an old, thick , leather bound book.

Albus smiled slightly; it seemed that Snape was thinking much along the same lines. It would be interesting to see how the new, more mature Snape would go about convincing Potter to work with him. That, in itself would show a great deal about what Potter's and Snape's teamwork dynamic would be like.  
Aside from an unexpected ally, these highly unusual circumstances might have another benefit: making Snape and Potter work together.

Albus inclined his head.  
"Oh? And what might that be?"

"My education. I've long since finished my NEWTS and have been teaching for seventeen years. The current curriculum will bore me senseless for the next two years and my time and energy could be better placed elsewhere." He said flipping open the book to a marked page.

"According to wizarding law "Any student with five or more O's in his or her OWL examinations may apply to take his NEWTS early provided he have the permission and signed forms of his or her headmaster and two other members of staff.", since I have no doubts in my mind that I will get O's in all but Divination, I'd like to apply to take my NEWTs early ... Preferably over the summer break. The completion of my NEWTs will lift the age restriction on me and will allow me to train in earnest. I want to be prepared this time ... I have a lot more experience than you can imagine ... But if I can make myself better and extend my knowledge to others who are willing to fight, then I'm sure we can bring him down."

Albus nodded. "An argument could be made for keeping up appearances. However, I have been looking through your files, and it would seem that you have never been less than an exceptional student to begin with. Thus, I do not think it would draw too much attention if we allowed you to apply for early NEWTs."

He smiled slightly. "There is hardly anything to be gained by making you repeat the standard curriculum. You have my permission. Getting the approval of two others should not be difficult... I believe Professor Slughorn, in particular, would be quite happy to sign."

For that matter, Slughorn would be thrilled to take credit for having taught such a successful pupil. But that was the man's nature.

"I'm sure he would ... The matter is of a second staff, and it getting approved by the ministry. The dilemma with this though ... If I graduate 2 years early I would need a reason to be here at the school, I will not be a student, and too young to be staff. If I am here as a guest then it will draw a lot of unwanted attention." He said, silently adding that he didn't want to teach either. He had no intentions of going back to that. 

"Yes," said the Headmaster. "That would be rather conspicuous. The best solution would most likely be to place you as an assistant to one of the staff members, and they could act as a mentor, in charge of helping you to further your studies. Though it has been a great many years since it has happened, there is a precedent for a similar program at Hogwarts... And the ministry would certainly feel more comfortable lifting the age restriction if you were still unofficially under Hogwarts' supervision. Depending on which professor you were placed with, their subject would, for official purposes, be your focus. However, you could certainly continue to advance in other areas through independent study."

Albus frowned pensively. "Placing you with a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher would be rather pointless, as they tend to rotate out fairly quickly, and would not be aware of your situation. Potions might not be the best option either, despite your aptitude for the subject. Though I must ask that you remain on personable terms with Slughorn, there is not much that he could teach you."

He looked at Severus over the rims of his spectacles. "How do you feel about Transfiguration?"

"Transfiguration?" Severus asked. "I'd never thought about it before. I suppose that could be a suitable subject. A McGonagall is trust worthy enough to be let in on this. I wouldn't suggest telling the whole staff though. The fewer that know the better." He said quietly. "As it is I'm changing the very fabric of time. I know information now, but the more we change the less my information will be accurate."

Albus nodded. "Professor McGonagall will have to know at least some of it, so that she will be aware that you have other duties. If you are interested, I will speak to her about it. But yes, no one should be informed about your situation except on a strictly need-to-know basis. And you are correct in saying that we must not assume too much; your information does, after all, apply to what is now a separate time line. On that note..."

The Headmaster folded his hands on his desk. "Your story seems to uphold a certain theory I have had about Lord Voldemort, but some investigation will be necessary to confirm it, and to procure vital details. I believe that Professor Slughorn may know something about it... something that he has been unwilling to discuss with me openly."

Severus looked at him. Here it is ... it starts. "I'm not playing your games Albus ... Not again ... If you want something of me, it would be greatly appreciated if you just came out and said it instead of playing mind games with me ... For once in your life, I dare you to flat out ask a question ... go on ... ask me." Severus dared, wondering if Albus was even capable of asking something out right.

The Headmaster looked back at Snape, gaze unwavering, expression unfazed. But in that moment, something occurred to him. Severus Snape had died. He had died a death that he considered to be without purpose. And, in all likelihood, he had died doing exactly what Albus had told him to.  
A few other ideas occurred to him, some even more jarring than the first. He chose not to pursue those thoughts for the time being

"I suppose," he spoke calmly. "I owe you that. For now, I wish you to make sure that you are on cordial terms with Professor Slughorn. Once you are able, there is a memory of his that I would like you to procure."

Severus crossed his arms in front of him, leaning back in his chair. He raised an eyebrow as he regarded the man before him. "Was that a request or a demand?" Severus asked. "I might have been your puppet in a previous life, and you may be used to getting what you want because you are "the great Albus Dumbledore" but keep in mind what I do for _your_ cause I do of my own accord. I could walk away right now ... I could finish my education normally, and when I graduate I could leave the country ... Voldemort would not be my problem. It would be yours ... and you would be back to square one ... without me, and as I have already changed the time line, no doubt without your golden "boy who lived". Just keep that in mind when you "request" me to do something for you." He said standing from his chair and moving towards the door, not bothering to inform Albus if he intended to do as he asked.

He paused at the door and turned back to him. "The Dumbledore in my time ... He thought he knew what he was asking of me ... but he never saw ... never witnessed anything I've done, or had to go through for him ... He never knew what he did to me ... I may have made the mistake of becoming a death eater ... but you're the one who made me pay for it. View those memories ... and we'll see exactly how righteous you feel."

Albus stood up. "Severus," he said quietly. "Please. Wait." He took a few steps forward. "You are right that I cannot even begin to understand what you have been through. If you decided to wash your hands of the whole situation, I would not blame you... But you are the one who came to me with this information. You are the one who volunteered to help. If I ever ask you to do anything that you object to, you have every right to tell me. But right now, I am asking you: Will you do this?"

Albus did not look forward to what he would see in that Pensieve, but he would have to see those memories. Not just for any useful information they might hold, but to understand the man he now had to work with. The man he had, in part, molded. Years of bitterness, pain, regret, possibly trauma... and Albus had played a part in it. Though none of it had happened yet, he would still have to come to terms with it if he was to have Severus as an ally.

Severus watched Albus and shook his head. "You may say I have the option of declining. But in the end, it's really never an option is it? It's always a matter of "You do it or someone will die." or "You do it, it's for the greater good." ... You look at people like chess pieces Albus ... You look at your students and you see pawns, and rooks, and bishops ... you don't see children ... You divide your students into black and white and play them out on your own personal board whether they like it or not because in the end, they have no choice ... just as I don't." He said.

"You may not see it that way now ... but you will ... when the time comes ... and you realize that you oh so subtly pushed an eleven year old boy to battle Voldemort, or a twelve year old boy to fight a basilisk, or a thirteen year old boy after a mass murderer, or a fourteen year old boy into the Triwizard Tournament ... year after year ... you have your pawns ... and you have your game ... you play with peoples lives and don't give a thought to the sacrifices so long as the game is won. View those memories Albus ... and then we'll talk." He said leaving the room to leave Albus to do just that.

Albus let Severus leave, without another word. Despite appearances, Snape was an adult in almost every respect... To what extent the usual teenage high levels of emotion affected him, however, remained to be seen. No doubt Severus had years of experience controlling his emotions... but he had not been sixteen in decades. And, given the nature of Snape's adult life and experiences, the horrors he must have seen, and the resentment that he clearly still bore... Well. Severus had far more to be upset about now than perhaps any teenager in the school. Worse. It seemed that the reasons behind his anger were perfectly rational... which could make them all the more difficult to ignore.

So, Albus let Severus remove himself from the situation. As it was, now was certainly not the best time for a meeting with Mr. Potter. Indeed, if Severus did decide to back out, there would be no point in the meeting at all.

The Headmaster sent a message to James, postponing the meeting until the morning.

Then he took up the vial of memories reserved for his eyes only, and went to the Pensieve, to witness what Severus Snape had endured at Albus's own future orders.

James woke up the next morning with a yawn as he reached for his round glasses and put them on. He had been curious the night before as to what Dumbledore wanted to see him about but so early in the morning the day before OWL's he wanted to go back to sleep. What could be so important the day before OWL's that it required being up at six in the morning?

He got dressed slowly, but efficiently and slowly padded his way towards Dumbledore's office. He saw Snape standing at the gargoyle, and couldn't even muster a dirty look.

"Hey Snivellus." James said as he approached him. "Don't tell me Dumbledore's summoned both of us here." Severus looked at James and raised an eyebrow.

"It's not as if we haven't been called to his office before." Severus said, recalling the numerous times they had been called to his office. Severus generally taking the blame for what ever had happened.

"Yes, but we haven't even done anything. At least that I can recall. You didn't obliviate me did you Snivy?" James asked, ruffling his hair.

"No, I didn't obliviate you. And I would appreciate it if you would stop calling me names. Don't you think it's a little juvenile at this point?" James looked at Snape as if the guy had grown a second head. He usually got mad when he called him that ... He got mad and he swore a lot ... not this time. What had happened?

"Right ..." James said, not knowing what else to say as they made their way up to Dumbledore's office. James didn't even think anything of it that the stairs where already up.

Albus heard the two boys approach, and called for them to come in. He wondered what Potter had made of Snape's newfound ability to predict the Headmaster's passwords... but upon actually seeing the young man, determined that James was probably too sleepy to notice. It was to be expected; James Potter rarely got up this early for anything that didn't involve flying around the Quidditch pitch.  
As for Albus, he was normally rather fond of mornings, that feeling of renewal that came with the returning light, the rebirth of new opportunities to make a better day...

But this morning was different. Albus had not slept last night. What he had witnessed in the Pensieve saw to that. In his time, Albus Dumbledore had witnessed harrowing sights before. He knew more than he would like to about what Voldemort and his followers got up to. 

But this was different. 

This was watching decades of a man's life spent in that hell... or at least the grisly highlight reel of those years. And with everything that the future Severus Snape saw, everything that he did, everything that he endured... Albus had to live with the realization that it was all under his own orders. Perhaps he had not ordered it yet. Perhaps he never would. But was this Dumbledore of the future really so different? Could Albus honestly tell himself that, if he truly thought it were necessary, he would never ask that of Severus again? Of anyone? Albus Dumbledore had to wonder just how many lives he would knowingly warp or ruin before the Dark Lord finally fell.

Albus showed none of these thoughts in his expression, though his face did seem somewhat pale and drawn, tired about the eyes, and imperceptibly older. He gestured to two chairs in front of the desk.

"Do sit down." He looked over to James. "I am sorry to have to postpone our meeting until this morning, Mr. Potter." He glanced over at Severus before looking back to Potter. "Some new information surfaced that required my attention. Mr. Snape already knows what this meeting is about. But before we begin, I must inform you that what we discuss here is of the utmost secrecy."

Severus upon walking through the room had to refrain from smirking at how tired and pale Dumbledore was. He knew why, and it was about time the man saw just what he was ... To Severus, Dumbledore was very little different from Voldemort. The only difference was Voldemort was direct in his manipulation and torture ... Dumbledore was subtle and left the torture to others hands.

James glanced at Snape and then back to Dumbledore. "Is this about Remus sir?" James asked. "Because I've already apologized as best as I can, if I had gotten there sooner -" Snape interrupted him, but what he said shocked James to no end.

"This is not about Mr. Lupin. But to ease your mind, there was nothing more you could have done. It was not your fault, nor are you a mind reader. You saved my life and for that I am grateful. But this is another matter entirely. And we must ask your complete discretion on the matter. What stays in this room, is between us three and must not leave." He glanced at Dumbledore. "I would ask you for a wand oath, but I'm going to take the first step towards this ... and say I will trust you to keep your word." He said looking at James for his answer.

James stared at Snape. Snivellus had never been this diplomatic, not to him anyway, not even in front of Dumbledore.  
He was weirdly civil. No, this was beyond civil. Why the hell was Snivellus telling James it wasn't his fault? He should be milking this guilt trip for all it was worth. Either that, or spewing so many insults and accusations that James wouldn't feel guilty anymore at all. Worse. Snape said he was... _grateful_? And that he _trusted_ him? What was James supposed to do with gratitude or trust from Snivellus?

James looked from Snape to Dumbledore. "Are you sure that's really Snape? And not someone on Polyjuice or something?"

"Quite sure," the Headmaster said, a somewhat amused gleam in his eye. "This is most assuredly Severus Snape... though not, perhaps, as you knew him."

Great. Just what James needed. Cryptic statements from Dumbledore at six in the morning.

James turned back to Snape, eying him suspiciously. What game was the greasy-haired bastard playing? "Alright, then," he said. "You're keeping Remus's secret, so I'll keep yours."

Severus nodded, He could turn that into a threat easily, but that would land them no where. James Potter was not the type to be threatened. He explained what he had told Dumbledore, but omitting a few details. He told James of how he had died in his time line, and came back here. He told him of how Voldemort was after his son, and that he had trusted Pettigrew to be his secret keeper. He told him how Pettigrew was already a death eater at that time, and had given his location to Voldemort leading to his and his wives death. He told of the hard life that his son had with his aunt and uncle, and of the Order of the phoenix leading up to the final battle. During this tale, he told nothing of himself other than that he was a member of the order of the phoenix, and a spy for Dumbledore and that he had taught at Hogwarts for nearly seventeen years before his death.

James listened. There really wasn't much else he could do. Every so often, he glanced at Dumbledore, who sat there as serene and serious as ever. If it weren't for the Headmaster's presence, there was more than one point where James would have flat out yelled "bullshit!" ... but he kept quiet.

His hands clenched into fists when Snivellus called Peter a traitor and a Death Eater. If they were alone, James would have hit him for talking about his friend that way. As it was, though, that wasn't exactly an option.

"Okay..." James took a deep breath. "Let me get this straight. You lived out a whole future that hasn't happened yet, and just woke up here again. You were a secret agent for Dumbledore, and I had a kid who was supposed to bring down You-Know-Who..." And then he glared at Snape, anger slipping into his voice. "But the part where you've _really_ lost me is Peter Pettigrew. What did _Peter_ ever do to you that you're throwing these accusations at him? Peter can't even handle a confrontation. You seriously expect me to believe that one of my best friends is capable of that? Professor Dumbledore seems to believe you, so I assume you have some kind of proof?"

"Peter Pettigrew can't handle confrontation ... it's why he looks to the most powerful. It's why he came to you lot ... You and Sirius are the most popular boys in Gryffindor, if not the entire school. It's why he flocked to you. If you suddenly lost that power, he'd flock to someone else ... just as he did when he left school and he flocked to Voldemort. And yes ... if necessary, I do have proof. He's the reason you and your wife were killed, and the reason Sirius Black spent twelve years in Azkaban. Dumbledore has a vial of my memories, untampered with that will give you all the information and proof that you will need. I told you that I will trust you Potter ... but you need to trust me as well. I'm not here as an enemy, and you had best start thinking that way other wise Voldemort will win ..." He said feeling himself getting upset. Damn his teenage hormones.

He took a deep breath and sat back in his chair to calm himself. "A lot of people die James ..." He said, for the first time using his first name. "Lily, Lupin, Black, Nymphadora Tonks, Molly Weasley's son Fred. He'll be born in three years I believe ... Some of my students ... Collin Creevey died at the age of fourteen, I saw him fall ... Lavender Brown died at the age of seventeen, murdered by the same werewolf that bit your good friend Remus ... I have seen a lot of people die James ... and I'm not going to do it again. So if I am sitting here telling you, that your friend is one day going to be a death eater, you can guarantee that I am doing it because he's killed quite a few people himself. The one off the top of my head, he killed a seventeen year old boy by the name of Cedric Digory who I believe you know was born a few weeks ago ... you know his father don't you? I don't say this to be harsh James ... I say this because you need to learn the reality of what we are about to face."

James shook his head, overcome with anger, disbelief, ... and an overwhelming sense of dread. What if Snape was telling the truth? Lily? Remus? Sirius? All dead? That was, of course, after Sirius apparently suffered through twelve years in Azkaban. Somehow, he doubted Snape particularly minded that part.  
And Diggory's son? The kid wasn't even a month old, and this alleged timeline already doomed him. And Peter... Dammit, Peter had always been there. He'd been part of the Marauders since the beginning. And James was supposed to believe he'd only been tagging along with them because they were _popular_? He'd become an Animagus with them, kept Moony's secret, been there with them no matter what, and yet somehow he was going to turn on them? Wormtail?

James shoved a hand through his hair. "No. That's not true. Even if all the rest of it is, you've made a mistake about Peter." He looked up at Dumbledore. "Peter's not a killer. He doesn't even have it in him."

Albus looked sadly back at the disbelief and anger on Potter's face. "Are you willing to look at the memories?"

James nodded. "I'm going to have to. It's the only way I'll believe any of this."

"Be prepared Potter ... Some of those memories are your sons ... Of what he witnessed of Peter. I saw them I tried teaching him Occlumancy. But the memories stuck with me well enough that I could pull them from my memory. You will see a lot in those memories that you will not want to see. You are more than welcome to walk away right now, and we will find someone else. We can make this so it never happened ... but once you view those memories Potter, they will stay with you. The decision is yours." Severus said, allowing Potter the chance to decide.

To decide if he trusts Peter enough to change, or that Snape is lying. Or the chance to decide if he wants to know the truth. Trust, or truth. James had to pick.

Find someone else? Make this so it never happened? Snape was talking about Obliviating him, wasn't he. And Dumbledore was perfectly fine with that.

James's eyes narrowed. "You don't get to talk about my friends like that, Snape, and then make me forget about it. I'll see what this is about, thanks, whether you think I can handle it or not."

There was one thing James had no trouble at all believing: that Snivellus had been a teacher. He had the Wiser Than Thou manner down overnight. And James would be damned if he was going to let Snape suddenly be the better man about things.

"Very well, then," Albus said quietly, then stood and led the way to the Pensieve. He reached into his sleeve, and drew out the vial that Severus had designated for Potter to view.

James shot another look at Snape, a look that was absolutely, definitely more defiant than nervous... whether it looked that way to Snivellus or not. Then he followed Professor Dumbledore to the Pensieve.

Albus held out the vial to James.  
"Whenever you are ready, Mr. Potter," he said.

James hesitated only a moment, before he accepted the vial, poured it into the Pensieve, and went in.

(A/N – And there's chapter 6, again if you have yet to do so please read the A/N at the beginning of thsi chapter, and as always please R&R it's greatly appreciated)


	7. I've been shattered

Chapter 7

The Shrieking Shack came first.

Wormtail had definitely let himself go. At first, he was all but unrecognizable... but there was no doubt it was him. Just older. Grimier. More groveling. And... distinctly more rat-like. There was something sickening about it.

Sirius frankly looked like hell. Or Azkaban. One of the two. Twelve years of lycanthropy and loneliness hadn't exactly been kind to Remus either. That wasn't supposed to happen; they were all supposed to be there for Moony, no matter what.

There was no mistaking who Harry was. James saw so much of himself in the boy's appearance that he could have been looking at his own doppelganger. The eyes, though. The eyes were different. Familiar somehow... but he didn't have time to process that.

The memory played out, and then shifted into another. The Portkey cup, some poor Hufflepuff kid falling dead, the hand... One memory marched relentlessly on into the next, memory after memory, after memory. Some Harry's. Some Snape's. All Peter. Over and over and over again, acting out his part as a spineless monster, in ways that James couldn't refute, couldn't excuse, couldn't explain away. And then it shifted away from Peter. The death and destruction the final war had brought.

o0o0o0o0o

When James finally pulled back from the Pensieve, he reeled backwards, and felt Dumbledore's hand on his shoulder, steadying him.

"Are you alright? You should sit down now." Dumbledore said quietly as Snape watched him, his arms crossed over his chest.

James nodded. "I'm fine," he muttered. He was shaking. Somehow, he ended up back in the chair. His face was damp around the eyes. James quickly brushed that away, under the guise of cleaning his glasses. He couldn't look in Snape's direction. At least, if the meeting was secret, Snivellus wouldn't be able to tell anyone. A string of curse words and jarring images ran through James's head... interrupted by memories of the Peter he knew. It hadn't happened yet... but he still felt hurt and betrayed. And he was still so bloody _angry_.

Once he was able to trust his voice again, he said quietly: "Okay, Snape. You told me, so... What now?"  
He still didn't look him in the eye.

"We have to stop it." Severus said simply, as if it where as easy as that. "My presence here has already altered this time period. We can save most of the people you saw in those memories." He said watching James. He knew this was hard for James, but he didn't need to voice that Pettigrew wasn't one of the people they would be saving. It was already in the boys nature ... there was no helping him. Trying would be a waste of time and energy, but he hoped that in bringing down Voldemort early ... it would at least save him in some form.

"I proposed to Dumbledore that we start a secret group ... Voldemort is already recruiting amongst the students, why not we?" Severus asked. "I have made up a list of proximately twenty people ... that I know will be more than willing to join, and about ten more that we may have to be cautious in how we approach them, but I believe given the right push they may join as well. The purpose of this group is to prepare us for what is about to come. The only ones who will know of where I come from and the information I hold is the people in this room, and Professor McGonnigal. That will remain in this room ... but going forward we are going to need more than just us.

You will have the key role in this. While I have the information, the knowledge and the battle skill ... no one will listen to me. I'm a Slytherin and as far as anyone's concerned I have the intentions of becoming a death eater. Which I don't ... I'd die before doing so ..." He said watching James knowing that Potter now had a reason to believe what he said.

"Which is why I propose you lead this group ... with my guidance of course. I will train and teach you, while training myself in new arts ... and you will teach them. I will be there with you as a type of "partner" ... I think this will also make them realize the severity of the situation if you and I are working together. I may not like you Potter, make no mistake I still loath you ... but I've worked with far more unsavoury people in the past. If you are willing to at least put our rivalry aside until Voldemort is gone, I promise that I will make this worth your while." Severus said. "A temporary truce if you will ... if after Voldemort is gone and you wish to continue calling me names and hexing me behind my back then so be it ... but for now ... we must grow up and move on until this is dealt with. Of course, as I have already grown up I'm sure this will be much easier for me but ... I must ask you see the reason in this."

At the mention of this secret group, James looked up at Snape, then across the desk at Dumbledore.  
This was serious. Snape was talking about actually organizing and _doing_ something about Lord Voldemort. Hell, he'd even spoken his name. No one did that... except for Dumbledore, anyway.  
Knowing what James knew now, they had to do something... and things had to change. There could be no going back.

James looked over at Snape in surprise, at his statement that he would sooner die than join the Death Eaters... and he believed it. Yesterday, James would have bet Galleons to gumdrops that Snape was a Death Eater sympathizer, at the very least. But now... It suddenly hit James that he wasn't just talking to Snivellus anymore... He was talking to a veteran. Maybe even a war hero. That was a disturbing thought. _Bastard. Am I going to have to respect you now?_

When Snape said he wanted him to lead the group... James flat out stared at him. Every reason he gave made sense. Snivellus barely had civil acquaintances (except, Merlin knows why, for Lily), whereas James practically had a fan club. Still, they'd spent years at each other's throats. So many actions calculated to piss each other off, so many murderous glares...

And now Snivellus Bloody Snape wanted to join forces, train him in whatever skills Future Snape had honed, and make him the head of their Anti-Voldemort-League?

If anyone had told him this yesterday, James would have thought they were high.

Of course... James could thoroughly believe that Dumbledore had planned this. He glanced over at the Headmaster, who just sat there, expression neutral, letting Severus make his spiel and calmly awaiting his answer.

James turned back to Snape and raised an eyebrow.

"Well... I can't very well let you go around being the mature one, now can I?" he held out a hand for him to shake, staring him down all the while. "Truce. I'll do it."

Severus stared at Potters hand for a moment before he reached over and shook it, looking at their hands as if it was a clear indicator of how different they really were. James' hands were soft, but blistered from the handle of his broom, and showed signs of being well taken care of. Snape's hands were smooth, but had tiny burn scars from potions he'd made, though not nearly as many as his older self, and he was so thin it seemed like skin stretched over the bones of his hands. These where two separate people in both appearance and personality coming together to fight a common enemy.

Shaking hands with Snape had to be one of the weirdest things James had ever done. He was even scrawnier than James had thought... and for the first time, James stopped to wonder why.

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend, as the muggles say." Severus said before letting go of James' hand. "An Arabic proverb attributed to a prince who was betrayed and decapitated by his own subjects. But it's still a hell of a quote." He said sitting back in his chair.

Albus handed the list to James to look over. "You'll have to handle most of the recruiting." Snape said pulling a galleon out of his pocket. "Your son and his friends did a similar group in their fifth year when the ministry decided it wasn't prudent enough to teach actual defence in DADA. I found a coin similar to this from one of my students who had been stealing. It looks like an ordinary coin, but it heats up when the main coin is pressed." He said handing it to James.

"As no one can know about these meetings, there will be no schedule, it can be at any time and who ever can make it does. It will be held in the room of requirement which I will show you after classes today while Black is in his detention. I'm sure Remus would prefer to stay in the common room and read than follow you into what ever perilous adventure you have in mind, and Pettigrew will stay put if you tell him too. I'm sure you can come up with an excuse, you are full of them after all." He said, though not as an insult. "We'll use these coins to communicate when the meetings will be held. I'll finish making the others tonight. This will take a lot of planning on our part ... Are you sure you are prepared for this. This isn't a game ... this is a war you're walking into Mr. Potter."

James took the list, and the Galleon. Evidently, even in alternate timelines, the Ministry was a mess. And apparently, James's son was a badass. As well he should be. All in all, it sounded like a good system. The night before exams, Remus could certainly be counted on to stay in the common room and study. As for Wormtail... James could get him to stay put. But setting eyes on him again after what he had seen was going to be difficult. Not that he couldn't do it, of course. Anything Snape could do, James could do better.

James shot Snape an offended look, offset by a wry smile. "Mr. Snape, if you really thought I couldn't handle it, you'd have gladly picked someone else. You've shown me that this is a life-and-death matter." He looked Snape in the eye pointedly. "And you've already seen that I can tell that apart from a game."

If he couldn't, Snape wouldn't even be here. James stood up, and looked over at Professor Dumbledore.  
"If it's alright with you, Headmaster, I'll go and start looking over these lists."

"See to it, Mr. Potter," Albus said. James took his leave.

Once he was gone, Albus seemed to visibly sag somewhat in his chair, before turning his eyes back to Severus. "We have more to talk about," he said quietly.

Severus was already half out of his chair when Dumbledore addressed him. He had no wish to speak of what Albus saw, and didn't really want to hear anything Albus had to say. It was either going to be an apology, nd excuse, or a dismissal of the matter, and he didn't want to hear any of them. It wouldn't change anything.

Severus, never-the-less, sat back in his chair, and crossed his arms over his chest. "Yes?" He asked.

"I could apologize," said Albus. "But you would doubt my sincerity. Regardless, it would not erase what you have been through. I could deny responsibility, on the grounds that it has not yet happened... But we both know that I am no different now than when I ordered you into those situations. We both know that, even now, I am capable of making the exact same sacrifices if I truly thought they were the only way."

That realization, far more than the horror of the memories themselves, was what had kept Albus awake at night. Even now, it was a bitter pain.

"I could promise you that I will never again ask you to infiltrate the Death Eater ranks... but you will not take my word for it. So instead, I shall let you know this." He looked directly into Severus's eyes, seeing at once the boy that he had ignored and the tortured man that Albus had sent him out to become. "Because of your frequent meetings with me, your associations with a certain Muggleborn, and your collaboration with James Potter... The Death Eaters would never accept you among them without suspicion. Asking you to endure the same things again is no longer tactically viable." His voice went very quiet. "It is not enough. What is done cannot be undone. But it will never happen to you again."

"Perhaps not in that way no ... but you will use me as a puppet just as you always have. Because I am readily available and have no scissors to cut my strings ... But I will tell you this Albus ... In my past ... I had considered you to be my only friend. Sad really, isn't it? That you could have put me through so much and still I called you my friend? ... I truly do wonder though ... if he had ever considered me his ... or if I was just a tool to be played. Because if I was ... then I truly had no friends ... I have no intentions of wasting my life away again Albus. I will not endanger my life for you ... I will help you, and I will do as you ask of me ... but I will not risk my welfare for your cause. When this is all said and done-" Severus said standing from his chair. It was almost time for class. "When Voldemort is defeated, I'm washing my hands of this ... of you, and your school ... Apprenticeship or not, I don't want to ever see you again." He said picking up his bag from the floor. "That in and of itself is a hard motivator for me to stop Voldemort at all costs."

That hit Albus hard, like a direct blow to the chest. When he found his voice again, he said evenly: "I cannot speak for the Dumbledore you knew, Severus. But if I did not appreciate you for the brave man that you became, then I was a fool. And I cannot blame you for washing your hands of this place. It is clear that I have failed you."

Even if Albus had not yet sent Severus out into the field, he had still ignored and overlooked a student who needed guidance and acceptance most. He had already contributed to the events that, in an alternate time line, had led Severus to become a Death Eater in the first place. That Severus had come to him this time at all, after everything that he had endured, said a great deal about the man... but it was no credit to Dumbledore.

There was nothing more to say now.

((And here's another chapter. Since this ones so short I might post another one this weekend. As always, please R&R, I'm a bit of a review whore.))


	8. By the ones I thought I loved

((A/N – There was a request for Snily in this chapter – won't be here quite yet, but it will be soon I promise. :D))

Chapter 8

Severus sat cross legged on his bed, the curtains drawn shut with a sealing and silencing charm. It wasn't unusual for him. His room mates always joked that he spent to much time masturbating, but it had never bothered him any. So long as it kept their suspicions away from what he was actually doing.

He felt the coin in his hand heat up and looked down at the sickle. He made all the copies of the gallions and in addition made two master sickles. This way James and Severus could meet together without the group and without actually interacting in public.

He looked up at his crow that was hopping around on the bed pecking at the gold coins as Severus tossed them into a small pile.

"Careful there Amaranth." He said gently pushing the bird away from the coins. "Those are charmed, you don't want to hurt yourself if something goes amiss." He said scooping up the coins. He waved his hand and a cloth bag with a draw string appeared along with a parchment of paper.

He pulled out his quill from his bag that sat behind him by his pillow and wrote a quick note. "Take this to James Potter. In the Gryffindor common room." He said rolling up the note and tying it to Amaranth's leg. Amaranth looked down at the note tied to its leg, have Snape a look that was as close to exasperated as a crow could get before flying out through the crack in the curtain Severus made for him.

The bird flew down the stairs and landed behind the couch and watched the front door a moment before flying up to the top of one of the large iron chandeliers. It wasn't long before a student finally came through the stone wall and Amaranth flew threw it scaring the two first years who ducked for cover.

He quickly made his way to the Gryffindor common room and perched on top of the stair case rail.  
"What the hell is this ugly thing?" Amaranth looked over and saw a large hand coming at him. With a large squack Amaranth bit non other than Sirius Black hard enough the boys had bled. "OW YOU BLOODY BUZZARD!"

James was situated in the Gryffindor Common Room, concealing the lists Severus had given him between the pages of a History of Magic book as he went over them a last time. He had marked names to indicate who he thought would be easiest to approach, and who already possessed significant useful skills.

Sirius had just headed out of the portrait hole when James heard him howling. He immediately got up, snapping the book shut and taking it with him, just in case someone decided to peruse his unattended notes, and ran to the portrait hole, Remus at his heels and Peter at a safe distance behind them.

"It's been thirty seconds, Sirius," James said. "What the hell could you have gotten into-"

They found Sirius batting wildly at a large crow that flew at his head, squawking loudly.

"What the hell?" asked James.

"The bloody thing attacked me!" Sirius yelled. "How did it even get in here!?"

Remus tilted his head at the bird. "Nevermore?"

James shot him a look. "What?"

" 'The Raven,' " Remus sighed with an exasperated look.

"Are you sure it's not a crow?" said Peter, mostly hidden behind the edge of the portrait hole.

"No, I mean Edgar Allan Poe."

James rolled his eyes. "Still never going to read it, Moony."

"Can we pay attention to the fact that I'm bleeding?" shouted Sirius.

Remus drew his wand. "Well, quit antagonizing it and come here."

He healed Sirius's arm.

"I wasn't antagonizing it," Sirius grumbled.

"Your face antagonized it," James muttered.

"No, _your_ face-"

"Look," said Remus. "It has a letter."

"Bet it's a declaration of war," said Sirius. "Goddamn attack buzzard."

"No," said Remus. "It's addressed to James..."

James shoved Sirius out of the way and snatched up the letter, opening it in such a way that no one else could see. Of course. A bloody crow made perfect sense for Severus. James looked up to see the other Marauders staring at him.

"What?"

"Well?" said Sirius. "Who's it from?" James shrugged, crumpled it up, and shoved it in his pocket.  
"It's signed Edgar Allan Poe," he lied. "Probably a prank."

"Whose prank?" demanded Sirius.

"Someone who gives Prongs too much credit," muttered Remus.

"I dunno. Some idiot with an attack-crow. Is it really safe to keep Filch waiting?" Sirius grimaced. "Alright, fine. But I expect a full report on the Muggle author situation when I get back." He pointed a finger at the crow. "And if I see you around here again, I'm turning you into a Halloween decoration."

"Right," Remus sighed. "I hope I'm not needed on this adventure? Some of us around here actually study."  
"Yeah," James waved a hand. "I'll be fine. Get back to your over-achieving." Sirius slouched grumbling down the hall, and Remus disappeared back into the Common Room.

Peter emerged, tentatively eying the bird. "Um, James? Do you need me to help?"

"No," James snapped, a little too quickly. Peter looked up at him, eyes confused and hurt. James sighed, and reminded himself for the hundredth time that Peter hadn't done anything. Yet. Even if he did have the capacity. Even if every time he looked at Peter, all day, he had to fight back the urge to shake him and shout "WHY?!" "No," James repeated, more quietly, and forced himself to meet Peter's eyes. "Look, Moony's seemed a little down on himself since the... incident. You know. More than usual. And I don't think he should be alone. So, I really need you to stay with him, okay?"

Peter nodded. "Yeah, sure thing Prongs," and hurried back through the portrait hole. Funny. James had never noticed how Peter always hopped to attention, as if following orders. He sighed, and went to go meet Snape.

Amaranth arrived in front to the room of requirement before James did. Severus sat on the ground against the wall wearing his school uniform but without the cloak and jacket. He held his arm out and allowed the bird to land on his arm. He pulled out a treat and a shiny red marble and gave it to the crow who took the marble and flew off.

Severus looked down the hall to see James approaching. "Potter." Severus said quietly as the boy approached.

James arrived, just as the letter had directed, on the seventh floor across from the portrait of the dancing trolls.

"Snape," James nodded, approaching him. It was funny, seeing the crow act so tame toward Snape... perhaps it recognized a kindred spirit. " 'P.S. The bird bites,' " James quoted the end of the letter. "So, does he always draw blood, or did you train him to recognize Sirius on sight?" Neither would surprise him.

Severus chuckled. "No. He bites everyone." He said holding up his hand and showing James a rather large scar on his index finger. "It just takes a stubborn ass to tame a stubborn ass." He said slinging his bag over his shoulder. "You stare at him a few minutes with your finger in his mouth he'll give up. He still bites me occasionally but not often." He said moving across the wide hall. He looked around to make sure no one else was in the hall before he started pacing in front of the wall.

James couldn't help a wry smile. "He suits you, I guess." He followed Snape, then paused, watching him pace in front of the wall, the bird flying off down the hall. James raised an eyebrow. If there were still a secret room or passage in the school that he and his friends didn't know about, he would certainly be impressed.

It was a few moments later that the wall morphed and reshaped into a large wooden door. Severus looked up at it and looked back to James. "Told you I knew somewhere. Come on before someone sees." He said pushing the door open. The room inside was large, holding a various assortment of training equipment. On the other end was another door. Severus knew that was there because he needed it, but James and the others wouldn't be able to access it. That was for his own personal training.

The door closed behind them and faded into nothing. Each wall was covered in floor to ceiling windows that looked out over the grounds of Hogwarts despite the location of the room in the middle of the castle. Severus wanted natural sunlight, and the room had provided that. A large chandelier hung from the ceiling and between each window were hanging lamps.

"If you need it, the room will produce it. But you have to need it, not just want it." He said glancing at James.

James tried not to look too impressed as a large wooden door appeared on the wall. He really, really tried. He thought he knew every room, every secret passageway, every broom cupboard in the castle. He, Remus, and Sirius had made a point of it when they'd undertaken the rather extensive project of creating the Marauder's map.

And he knew for a fact, without having to pull the map out of his pocket and consult it, that this room wasn't on it.

How the hell did Snivellus know about this place when he didn't? "No need to be smug about it," he muttered, as he followed him quickly through the door.

James looked out over the room, still trying not to look too impressed... and failing miserably. This room had everything it needed. Good lighting, plenty of practice space... James nodded. "This... looks pretty much perfect. The disappearing door's a nice bonus too." He shot Snape a sidelong glance. "So this place only appears when you need it? Does the interior change depending on what you need as well?" Who even knew how many variations of this room were hanging around, waiting to exist. He frowned. "And how long have you known about this place, anyway? Is this a Future Snape thing?"

"Yes, it can be any type of room that you want it to be." He said, walking a bit further into the room. "I discovered it my first year teaching here. Considering half of my students still remembered me as a student you can imagine how hard teaching them would be. Two weeks ago, before the shrieking shack, would you have taken me seriously as a teacher? No, you would have made my time a living hell. I had one night where I just needed to get away from everyone. I was stressed out about classes, Voldemort was still alive and making my life hell, I was following orders from Dumbledore and I couldn't get a single second to myself unless it involved grading dismal essays. I wound up finding this place purely by accident ..." He said, unsure of why he was telling Potter this. He supposed there was a multitude of reasons.

James stared at Snape. For some reason, James was really uncomfortable hearing that he, or others like him, would make Snape's life "a living hell."

That wasn't what he did... was it? It wasn't like Snape was completely innocent either. The slimy little bastard had always come up with some pretty nasty retaliation. But James had always assumed that whatever negative impact messing with Snape had, it was temporary. The idea that it would continue to have consequences beyond their student years... it had never once occurred to him. And he'd never stopped to think about other aspects of Snape's life giving him hell simultaneously...

"I... I see." James looked away, shoving a hand through his hair. "Anyway, this'll work nicely. Given how late in the school year we are, I guess we'll want to start recruiting as quickly as possible, and start meetings immediately after the summer holidays?"

"Yes. We should inform at least our main list of people. The ones I know will join. Some I them are graduating this year, but that is not a reason for them not to join. If anything it will give us some people outside Hogwarts. I think we should get together over the summer, I'll be here anyway so if you could find some time to meet here, just send me an owl." He said walking back to the doors. "We should go back before we're missed."

He paused before opening the door. "I don't think I have to remind you the necessity of secrecy here. And the subtlety of when you are recruiting? I know this is much to ask of a fifteen year old. But a war is coming, and we all must be prepared."

James rolled his eyes. "Is it really a war?" he asked sarcastically. "And here I thought you and I were working together for fun, because we get along so terribly well." He really did not appreciate being talked down to by Snivellus. ...Because of age. That was just bizarre. Still, Snape had chosen to involve him in this. He clearly thought him capable. Which was equally bizarre, but James decided to consider that a victory anyway.

"Speaking of recruiting," James said. "I've been over your list. Everyone on it makes sense..." though he'd been surprised to see Remus's name on there. Then again, that had been ages ago for Snape. "But I still have a few questions. Pettigrew's out of the question, for obvious reasons. But I've got to ask..." James crossed his arms. "Is Sirius really off the list for tactical reasons, or is it personal?"

Severus stared at him for a few seconds before answering. "I was in the order with Black for a year before he foolishly ran into danger putting the entire order in jeopardy. He paid with his life. If he wasn't wise enough to stay home when _your_ son needed him ... What good is he going to be as an adolescent teenager?" Severus asked, telling him more than he wanted to, but James needed to know. "If you want to save him ... Keep him out of this."

James scowled at him for a long moment, but then nodded. "Alright," he sighed. After what had happened about a week ago... could James really argue that Sirius was responsible enough for this Maybe Sirius would mature differently this time. Maybe he would get better - Merlin's beard, James was starting to think like Snape. That was terrifying- but for now, Sirius just wasn't cut out for this.

James hated the idea that Snape was being more reasonable about this than he was. He shoved a hand through his hair, annoyed.

"One more thing," he said. "There is one person on the list that... might actually be more likely to listen if you approached her. Lily Evans... isn't exactly on speaking terms with me at the moment." He glared at Snape, daring him to comment on that.

Snape smirked slightly. "Sure," he said his grin widening. "I'll ask her when I take her out to dinner after OWLs." He said, walking out the door before James could react.

"What!?" James shouted at the already closed door. Probably best it was closed; they couldn't have his outburst alerting people that they were here. He ran out into the corridor after Snape, and this time kept his voice down as he hissed, "What exactly do you mean by that?"

Severus paused in the hall and looked at James confused . "Me and Lily are going out to dinner to celebrate the completion of our OWLs. Also I have some news I'd like to tell her ... But I'll make sure she knows about _your_ little club." Severus said with a chuckle.

James stood there, staring. Snape was lying. He had to be. Didn't he?

"But- you ... what?" James stammered, before demanding: "What news?"

"My business is my business. It has nothing to do with you or your little group." He said, waving his hand as if he were shooing him away. "Now if you'll excuse me. I have other places to be." He said moving down the hall again, a smirk still on his face. Let him stew on that one.

James stared after him. What did he mean by that? James couldn't even try to hex an answer out of him (as much as he wanted to), because then he'd probably get Obliviated for being too immature to run the student resistance group. Also, it would be stupid and childish and James would be damned if he was going to let Snape be the mature one around here.

That, and Lily would be mad at him for it. As if she weren't already. This new, confident Snape was a menace.

o0o0o0o0o0o

Severus didn't bother putting his nose in his papers this time as he walked through the grounds of Hogwarts, not really paying attention to where he was going. It didn't matter either way he knew he got all O's on his exams. The last one had just ended, defence against the dark arts. Like that would ever be a challenge for him. He spotted Lily over by the lake, something he hadn't noticed the first time around.  
She was with two other girls that he recalled didn't like him, but that didn't matter. He smiled as he made his way over and cringed when he realized his mistake. He was in perfect sight of none other than Sirius Black, but this time, James Potter wasn't with him. No doubt speaking to other students about recruiting since today was their last day. The feast was tonight and in the morning they would all be going home.

Sirius was bored as hell, and James wasn't even around to help him find something to do. He'd just run off after exams. That had been just like him lately, all secretive and evasive. Lately, it seemed like he was never there, and he seemed preoccupied even when he was. And not the snicker-worthy kind of preoccupied where he doodled 'L.E.' all over his notes. This was something else... something he wasn't telling Sirius. As if James had just gone off and found a new set of friends that he wasn't telling them about and didn't want them to meet. Like one of those fathers one heard about who had a second identity with a second wife, set of kids, and a dog. And now Remus had been telling him he was being melodramatic, acting like it was all in Sirius's head. Except that, up until just yesterday, Remus had noticed it too. Were Sirius and Peter the only ones left out of the loop here?

Sirius looked up, a slow smile spreading across his face as he caught sight of Snape. There was a good audience around, people crowding past as they emerged from exams, blinking in the sunlight. Sirius knew an instant cure for boredom. Might even get Remus to quit moping around like a walking guilt trip. Pity he had to do this solo, but that was what James got for ditching him.

Sirius drew his wand as he stood and sauntered over. "Well, if it isn't Snivellus!" he called out loudly. The crowd stopped to watch. No doubt Snivellus would go for his wand; he always did. But Sirius was ready.


	9. You left me here

((Thank you all for your support and your reviews. Please keep 'em coming. And enjoy the story))

Chapter 9

Over by the lake, Lily heard Black call out that hateful nickname. She froze and turned around. Potter didn't seem to be involved this time, and Remus seemed to want no part of it... but she had an uneasy feeling about it none-the-less.

Severus sighed and looked to Black, not bothering to draw his wand. He didn't need it to beat this foolish adolescent Gryffindor.

"What do you want Black?" He asked speaking as if he were speaking to the adult Sirius. "I have places to be, or is there something I can actually assist you with?" He asked thinking of a slew of insults that he wouldn't waste his time with. All much more clever than anything he could have come up with in this original time line.

Sirius stared at Snape as if he had grown an extra head. Snivellus was a walking pile of concentrated hatred. Extra greasy. And now suddenly he was Mr. Rationality? What was he trying to do, annoy Sirius to death with his oh-so-superior attitude? Out of the blue, it suddenly wasn't even worth Snivellus's time to fight him anymore? Evidently, avoiding Sirius was just the new trend around here.

"Oh my," said Sirius with a mocking bow. "I had no idea you were so important you couldn't even stop to chat with the rest of us. I'll just take a number and get on the waiting list, shall I?"

That got some moderate laughter from the crowd, and Wormtail's undivided attention... which was usually reserved for Prongs. Sirius took that as affirmation to continue.

"_Impedimenta!_" he snapped, stopping Snivellus in his tracks. If the slimy git decided to go for his wand now, it was too late. Sirius shook his head. "Oh, that's right, I forgot. I hate waiting. Seriously, Snivelly, that kind of attitude is just rude. Why not drop the high-and-mighty act and hang around awhile?"

There was a flash of light, and Snivellus was hanging upside down in the air, his grey school pants around his ankles. That got a good response out of the crowd, though frankly Wormtail was laughing far harder than was strictly necessary. It was a terrible pun, really. Not at all Sirius's best material. Usually, he had James to work off of. But, then, Wormtail would laugh at anything. As much as Sirius had tried to refine him a little, Peter Pettigrew had no sense of comedic wit. Still, a reaction was a reaction. And Sirius was sick of being ignored.

o0o0o0o

Lily barely even spared a glare for her laughing friends as she got up and sprinted over, abandoning her books by the lake.

"Leave him ALONE!" she shouted.

Severus hung upside down, his clean underwear showing to everyone in the area. It didn't matter to him, it wasn't as if he hadn't been humiliated before and it wasn't as if he had anything to be ashamed of in that area.

He stared at him blankly and crossed his arms over his chest. "When ever you are quite finished ..." He said calmly.

A few people laughed now, not just at the fact that Snivellus's underwear were showing... but at Snivellus's _comment._ When did that ever happen? Sirius stared at Snape. How the hell was he this calm? Normally, he'd be flailing and cursing and trying to hex everything that moved. With Snivellus just doing nothing like this... Sirius felt like a real idiot. And picking on someone who wouldn't even fight back made him strangely uncomfortable. No, dammit. Sirius should not have to feel uncomfortable about messing with _Snivellus_. Snivellus, with his creepy ways, and his greasy hair, and his Dark Arts obsession, and his Slytherin superiority... He was a walking homage to everything Sirius hated. He had no _right_ to make Sirius feel bad about this, or about last week when Snape had poked his greasy nose into other people's business like he always did and nearly got the rest of them expelled over a simple prank... No. Nothing had changed. Sirius wouldn't let it.

He turned to see Lily approaching and smirked. "Problem, Evans?"

"Obviously," she glared at Sirius, green eyes furious. "Leave him alone. What's he ever done to you?"

"Blinded me," said Sirius. "He's pretty much a walking eyesore. Though, from the rumors, I thought _you _might actually enjoy the view." He glanced at Snivellus skeptically. "No accounting for taste, I guess."

Seriously, what _was_ that about anyway? She was so friendly with Snivellus, but avoided James like he was a Boggart. It was like having an actual _preference _for the vomit-flavored Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. Girls made no sense whatsoever.

Sirius turned to the crowd. "Who wants to see me take Snivelly's undies off?"

Lily drew her wand and pointed it at Sirius. "Put. Him. Down." She was red in the face and shaking from anger and embarrassment.

Sirius laughed. "Oh, come on, Evans. Don't make me hex you. Look, see how calm he is? I could leave him up there all day and your Snivelly-poo would still be perfectly fine." Sirius glanced around and stage-whispered. "I think he secretly likes the attention."

The crowd laughed, still mostly on Sirius's side. He wasn't the only one around here bored after exams, and it was the only show in town.

It was at this point that James arrived on the scene. "Shit," he muttered under his breath, and started trying to make his way through the crowd.

Severus could see James approaching and wondered just how this would play about this time around. He could already feel his boxers pulling down his hips and glared at Sirius daring him to do it. He could easily break out of the spell Sirius had him in but that was a show of power he didn't want to display quite yet. He would take the humiliation if only to make Sirius look like more of an ass.

Still nothing out of Snivellus. Sirius had been sure that last jab would get _some_ kind of reaction out of him. The way he just took the humiliation silently, with that defiant stare... Sirius's grin faltered for a moment. He felt sick inside. Everything just felt wrong. This wasn't fun anymore, and he couldn't figure out why, and he didn't _want_ to figure out why, because if he looked too closely at what he was doing, he was afraid of what he might find.

But he couldn't stop now. People were watching. If he just kept going, just acted the same way he always had, the moment would pass, the sick feeling would fade, and he could just ignore it and everything would be fine. Wouldn't it? He saw James approaching, and was instantly relieved.  
"Oi, James!" he called out. "You almost missed out on the fun."

Lily glared at James as he approached. "I swear to god, Potter, if you don't call your friend off and clear out, I am going to-"

James avoided Lily's eyes and turned to Sirius. "Sirius," James shook his head. "Just... stop, okay? This isn't funny anymore."

Sirius stared at James a moment in shock, then shrugged, pretending not to care. "Fine," he said. "Snivellus is being boring today anyway." He waved his wand, and Snape dropped to the ground.

James murmured so that only Sirius could hear. "Marauder's meeting. Now." He turned on his heel and walked off, away from the crowd, knowing the others would follow. Padfoot wasn't going to like what he had to say... or, for that matter, what he _couldn't _say.

Lily watched, dumbfounded, as James Potter walked away, his little gang of followers in tow, Sirius Black radiating anger and confusion. Then she shook her head, and ran over to Severus. "Are you alright?" she asked.

Severus shrugged as he righted his underwear that was tugged down his hips showing off a bit of dark hair that ran from just above his belly button down, before pulling up his light grey school uniform pants that had been tugged down when he'd been hung upside down.

"I'm fine ..." He said glaring at James and wondering just what James was telling Black. If he told him anything about their group ... Especially around Peter. He wouldn't put it past Potter to take things into his own hands. Severus sneered at them ... This could be bad.

Lily glanced away as Severus put his clothes back in order, trying to give him some semblance of privacy... which seemed somewhat pointless after Sirius Black had just pantsed him in front of everybody, but it was the principle of the thing.

She studied his face to see whether he was actually 'fine,' or if he was just saying that not to worry her. Lily saw him glaring off in Potter and Black's direction.

"Hey," she put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's just go, okay? We'll hang out for awhile, then go to the feast together, and not waste another thought on those toerags."

Of course, Lily fully planned to slap Sirius Black in the face as soon as she had an opportunity. But that was different. She had to wonder, though, why Potter had just called it off. Normally, he'd take any chance he could get to show off. Maybe he was still feeling guilty about the Shrieking Shack incident last week? Could James Potter actually be capable of... _learning_ something?

Severus looked back at her before looking back at James. He'd deal with that later. "Yeah ... we have a few hours before the end feast. Do you want to go for a walk?" Severus asked, his voice getting a bit quieter. He hated how shy he suddenly got when it came to talking to her. He had such a fear of fucking this up he was amazed he wasn't running from her just to avoid making an ass of himself.

At least he made it through this without calling her the M word.

"Sure," Lily said. "We should probably start our walk in the direction of the lake, though. I left my books over there."

She kept her tone casual. There was still a distinct nervousness about Sev when he talked to her lately, ever since he had brought up the idea of dinner. Lily still hadn't figured out her own feelings in that department, but in the meantime she wasn't going to let a little awkwardness get in the way of their friendship.

Severus motioned her towards the lake in a type of 'Ladies first' type of way and followed her down to the lake to retrieve her books. The two girls she had been with looked at him like a disgusting insect they didn't want anywhere near them but Severus ignored them. He waited for Lily patiently, his hands in his pockets. He could tell Lily was always embarrassed to be seen with him around her friends, but it had never bothered him. If he had to wait for her, he would.

Lily strode up to the lake to collect her books, already noticing the looks her friends were shooting at Severus. She sighed. Why couldn't everybody just leave everybody else alone? She got enough unnecessary drama from Petunia at home; she didn't need it at Hogwarts too. She didn't ask all of her friends to associate with one another, but was a little civility really too much to ask?

"You two hanging out?" one of them asked.

Lily nodded. "Yes," she said matter-of-factly. "Yes, we are." She shot her friends a look that roughly translated to: 'Be nice or I will hex you in your sleep.' Then she collected her books. "Catch up with you later," she said pleasantly, then turned around and went back to Severus.

Judging by the whispers behind her, her friends were probably planning to ambush her with an intervention in the dormitory later... which was pretty much a standard practice any time she and Severus were on noticeably good terms. They meant well. Really. 

"Shall we?" she asked.

Severus smiled a bit at her as he turned to walk with her along the lake. Once they were out of ear shot of her friends, he finally mustered up the courage to say what he wanted to say. "Hey um ... I wanted to talk to you actually ... about what I asked you the other day ... when I asked you out to dinner ..." He said, suddenly even more nervous than he had been before. "I know this is all really sudden, but ... I've wanted to ask you for a long time now. And I figured celebrating owls was the best time to do it." He looked at her and swallowed slightly. "I ... I did kind of ..." He paused and stared at the ground. "Wanted it to be a date, but if you just want to stay ... you know ... friends ... then I just want you to know I'm okay with that ... I don't want our friendship to become awkward just because I asked you out to dinner or anything." Severus said, mentally kicking himself with every word. Why did he even bring it up? Why did he have to talk about it now? And why did he keep acting like a teenage boy!

Lily looked up at him, and listened while he spoke. "I..." she said quietly. Dammit. She'd already told herself she refused to feel awkward about this. After they'd known each other for so long, there was no reason they shouldn't be able to talk about it. "...Did kind of wonder about that. When you asked, I mean." She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, nervously. "And... I'm not opposed to the idea, it's just... I've never really thought of it before. So I'm still figuring out how I feel about... about that. This isn't a no, but... but I don't want to rush into anything if I'm not sure. That wouldn't be fair to either of us. Our friendship means a lot to me, and whatever happens, I don't want to lose that."  
She winced. "I wish I had a better answer for you than 'maybe,' but... right now, that's all I have."

Severus smiled at her slightly. "Hey, it's better than a no ... And it's even better than an 'ew I wouldn't date you in a million years.'" He joked with a bit of a laugh. "I don't want to rush anything either, I mean ... We have all the time in the world right?" He asked feeling a bit better about the situation. She didn't say yes, but she didn't say no either which meant on some level she was thinking about it.

Lily nudged him playfully. "If I _did_ say no, I wouldn't be that mean about it," she protested, laughing. "Well, not to you, anyway."

She had, admittedly, delivered some rather creative rejections to Potter lately. Once, she had told Potter she would sooner date the giant squid, and a few weeks ago, she had said that, if she and Potter were the last remaining human beings (wizarding or otherwise) on the planet, she would rather be responsible for the extinction of the human race than go out with him. But that was because Potter couldn't take a hint. Besides, his ego had an alarming recovery rate.

Severus, on the other hand, seemed ready to respect her wishes, whatever they might be. And he was really taking a risk, putting himself out there like that, even with her. Maybe especially with her; it wasn't as if he had that many other friends.

"Yeah," she agreed with a smile. "All the time in the world. And I promise I'll let you know as soon as I figure it out."

She was glad that this was all out in the open now. She felt as if a huge weight had been lifted. She was also glad that he understood, and wouldn't pressure her for an answer immediately.

Severus opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by someone shouting his name. He looked over to see Mulciber and Avery walking up to then. Severus stared at them as they approached.

"Snape!" Avery called. "Playing with your Mudblood I see." He said a wicked smirk on his face. Severus sneered at him, though he knew with his back to Lily she wouldn't be able to see it.

Lily froze. She did not draw her wand, but her hand went to rest near it anyway on instinct. These were dangerous times to be Muggle-born, and it was enough to make anyone more than a little jumpy about being called 'Mudblood.' Not to mention angry. She wondered whether Severus fully understood that. He was half-blood himself, but he could still keep up appearances like any good Slytherin.

... And he was about to go keep up appearances again. She was sure of it. He would go off with them now, just as he had been doing all year. Why she had ever expected him to suddenly do any differently was beyond her. It hurt... but what could she do about it?

Her expression hardened. "I'll let you catch up with the elite, shall I?" she murmured bitterly.

Severus glanced at her, Mulciber laughing as he clapped a hand on Snapes shoulder. Snape twisted his arm around Mulciber's, twisting Mulciber's arm and causing him to let go.

"Don't touch me." Severus said annoyed. Mulciber and Avery blanked.

"What's wrong with you?" Mulciber asked walking closer to Snape. "You're our friend, part of our group. Come join us and leave your little Mudblood here." He said pointing lazily at Lily. "If you want a pet I'll get you a dog!" Mulciber said laughing.

Severus sneered and before he knew it pain shot from his fist up his arm and into his shoulder. He was already on top of Mulciber pinning him to the ground before he even realized that he had punched Mulciber hard enough blood was gushing from his nose.

"Severus!" Lily shouted in alarm. He was as angry as she had ever seen him, as if all the fury he hadn't directed at Sirius Black earlier had built up until now... and then snapped.

She saw Avery go for his wand, but she had hers out quicker, and disarmed him. Even with her wand pointed directly at him, Avery still had the nerve to lunge for Severus. "_Petrificus totalus!_" she yelled. Avery fell like a severed tree, and she leaped over him and ran to Snape.

"Severus," she said. "Stop, he's not worth it. Let's just go."

Severus was knocked back and though he regained his balance he didn't have time to react. he watched Mulciber stand up, blood dripping from his face as he punched Severus in the stomach hard enough to make him double over in pain with a loud 'umph'.

He fell forward, a punch in the face splitting his lip. Severus remained on the ground shaking in both anger and pain. His body was not used to pain yet.

"Lucius will hear about this!" Avery said as Mulciber freed Avery from the jinks before they both walked away, Avery glaring at Lily.

"Good." Severus muttered from the ground, spitting blood into the grass.

Lily ran to Severus and knelt down beside him, her wand still pointed at Avery and Mulciber until she was sure that they were really walking away.

She laid a hand on Severrus' shoulder. "Just... lie still awhile, alright?" she said, anxiously. "Are you okay?"

Severus laid on the ground, his knees bent, his feet on the ground as he tried catching his breath. He could feel blood running down his chin and licked his stinging lip.

"I'm sorry." Severus apologized to her.

The scolding tirade she had prepared deflated like a balloon. Lily sighed and shook her head. "Don't be," she said. "Just... next time you feel like standing up to them, use words instead? You know I hate seeing you get hurt." She was quiet for a moment, then said: "I'm sorry. For thinking you'd go off with them. You said before that things would be different. I should have believed you."

She was worried, now, about what might happen. No doubt Mulciber and Avery would talk about this. What would happen when Severus went back to the Slytherin common room? He'd been catching enough grief from Potter and crew; he didn't need more from his own house. And what if it wasn't just at Hogwarts? There were more than a few people in Slytherin with Death Eater connections. What the hell had Severus been thinking?

"I'm fine ... They would retaliate against me no matter what I did. You don't want me hanging around with them anymore and to be honest I don't either ... I could have simply said no and they would have done the same ..." Severus said slowly sitting up. He groaned and put his hand to his stomach. They had clipped his lower rib when they punched him and Severus wondered if it was cracked.

"I think I should go to the hospital wing." He said. As much as he hated it, he could not allow it to heal on its own. He didn't want to be in pain all through their dinner.

"That's a good idea," said Lily, helping him up. "I'll come with you." At least he was being smart about taking care of himself. Boys could be complete idiots about that sometimes. Severus was no exception.

Lily couldn't help but feel guilty now. She had told him countless times how much she hated that he hung around with that group... but she had never fully considered the consequences of what she was asking of him.

((And there's another chapter so – hope you all enjoyed. As always please R&R. I'm still a review whore. And also, story is still in need of editing. If anyone wants to beta – all my contact info is on my profile.))


	10. Like a chalk outline

Chapter 10

Severus walked slowly into the hospital wing, his hand on his side and moved to the nearest bed, needing to sit down. His breathing was laboured, the walk from the lake to the hospital wig felt way to long.

Lily walked with Severus to the Hospital Wing, her concern growing with every step. He was clearly in significant pain.

Once Severus was safely sitting down in the hospital wing, Lily turned to find Madam Pomfrey already bustling toward them, shooing her out of the way.

"What seems to be the trouble, Mr. Snape?" Madame Pomfrey said briskly, waving a wand to heal his split lip. She knew that wasn't all, from the way he had been walking. The boy never bothered coming here for anything so relatively minor.

Lily couldn't help noticing that Madam Pomfrey looked a little disapproving, but not remotely surprised.

Severus painfully pulled the sweater vest over his head. "I got punched in the stomach. I think I have a cracked rib ... Or something ..." He said not wanting to sound so sure about that. He knew, but knowing would raise to many question. He didn't say who had punched him, it was him who had started it.

Lily let Severus choose how much to tell Madam Pomfrey, and kept quiet herself, her expression neutral.

Madam Pomfrey nodded. "Shirt off, then, and I'll take a look." With all of these frayed, teenage tempers and exam stress piled up at the end of the year, something always happened to put a few students in here on the last day.

Severus glanced at Lily who didn't seem to be going anywhere, most likely she was worried. Severus started unbuttoning his shirt and pulled it open revealing his pale chest, a small smattering of dark hair over his chest. It was significantly less than it had been when he was an adult, but his face reddened slightly in embarrassment. A dark purple and blue bruise already was forming on his torso where he'd been punched.

He placed his shirt on the bed next to him, hissing in pain at the movement.

Lily winced in sympathy at the already massive dark bruise forming on his torso. She looked away, because he seemed a little embarrassed. Though Lily was not sure why; he didn't have anything to be particularly embarrassed about. Then again, everyone had always acted like he was so terribly repulsive, so it made sense that he would be self-conscious. Which was stupid, really, and made Lily want to go track down everyone who had ever made disparaging comments about Sev's appearance and jinx them with something horrible.

Personally, she'd never really seen what people were talking about. Maybe it was just because she'd known him for so long, but to her, he had always just been Sev. And, now that she thought of him in that context, she couldn't see any compelling reason to consider him _un_attractive... Lily felt her own face redden, and stopped that train of thought for now.

Madame Pomfrey inspected Severus, and nodded. "Yes, that's definitely a cracked rib... Alright, Mr. Snape. I'll just need you to hold still while I heal this."

Severus held still as he felt the painful tingling sensation of his rib mending, could feel the bruise fading. It wasn't long before the wound was healed an she turned her wand on his face. Severus flinched at first as the move to him was rather sudden, but stilled so that she could heal his lip.

"The wound on your lip is deep, I can heal it but it will leave a bit of a scar. That can't be helped. Once it fades a bit on its own we can work to rid you of it." She said running another diagnostics charm over him. "You're still malnourished. I'd like you to try to start eating properly dear, you skip far to many meals." She said knowing as always Severus would not listen.

At Madam Pomfrey's comment about skipping meals, Lily looked up at Severus and mouthed: "I told you so."  
She was going to have to get onto his case about that again. She'd have to see how many times she could drag him over to her parents' house over the summer and feed him. Someone had to.

Severus blushed again slightly as he pulled his short back on, his hands moving over the buttons putting each of them in place.

"The feast isn't that long from now. Why don't you two head down there?" Pomfrey suggested in a way of a dismissal. Severus stood of the bed and picked up his vest pulling it over his head and pulling his black robe over it.

Lily nodded and headed over to Severus.  
"Sounds like a good idea," she said, then joked: "Since apparently I have to supervise your meal consumption."

Severus scoffed. "Well be at separate tables remember? You won't be supervising me doing anything. Unless you plan on sending me telepathic scoldings." He said with a chuckle. "I promise I'll eat something." He said following her out of the hospital wing and to the great hall.

" 'Something' is vague," Lily laughed. "I demand that you eat at least two food groups. I have ways of finding out, you know."

As they made their way to the Great Hall, she was glad Severus seemed to be in higher spirits now. He'd had one hell of a rough day. It still worried her, though, the idea of Severus alone with the other Slytherins after what had happened.

Before they entered the great hall he paused and smirked. "Want to really piss off Potter?" Severus asked with a smirk. He could hear Potter inside talking rather unnecessarily loud.

"Always," Lily grinned. "You have something in mind?"

Severus smirked and held his hand out to her. "I told Potter earlier I was taking you to dinner but he didn't seem to believe me ..." He said waiting to see if she'd take his hand.

Lily smirked back, and took his hand. "Well, we can't have that, now can we?"

Severus smiled as he walked with her into the great hall, his fingers entwining with hers. He heard Potter stop speaking before he even saw him glaring at them. But sure enough Potter was glaring at then madder than a hippo with a hernia. He could practically see the steam coming out Potters nose.

Lily found that holding hands with Severus didn't bother her at all. It was kind of nice, really. She didn't know if that meant anything, but it was something to consider.

It took all of her willpower, however, not to laugh out loud at the look on Potter's face. "Do you think his head will explode?" she whispered so that only Severus could hear.

Severus smiled and leaned in to her, with his hight difference he had to lean down to whisper into her ear. "I think he might start crying in fact. It looks like he's going to come over here and hex me." He said with a laugh. He noticed quite a few more people where coming into the great hall and where starting to stare at them.

"We should go to our tables before rumours start and your friends start an intervention." He said sliding his hand out of hers.

"They're probably planning one already," Lily sighed and let go, slipping away to go join Gryffindor table.

She really hoped Severus was joking about... well, about most of the things he'd just said. She didn't want to make anyone _cry_, not even Potter... which she didn't think was likely anyway. Potter had an ego of steel. He did, however, look like he just might get up and hex Severus... which was also something to be avoided. She didn't want Severus getting hurt or in trouble over this. He'd had enough to deal with today as it is.

By this point, an attempted intervention from her friends was inevitable. But rumours weren't just limited to Gryffindor, and Lily was far more worried about what a Slytherin intervention might look like.

It was stupid that she even had to worry about this. Whatever was or wasn't between her and Severus shouldn't be anyone else's business. She shouldn't have to _care_ what anyone thought... but she was worried about Severus.

Severus sat down at the table and waited for Dumbledore to finish his asinine speech before keeping with his promise to actually eat. He pulled his food onto his plate feeling better than ever. The smirk never left his face as he started eating, ignoring everyone around him. It was a few minutes later when one of the seventh years came and sat next to him. He couldn't remember his name but knew he'd been a death eater that had even captured during the first war.

The seventh year boy clapped his hand on Severus shoulder as If he were an old friend. "Keep up this behaviour Snivey ..." The boy whispered to him causing Severus to freeze, his entire body feeling numb. "And we'll kill your little Mudblood whore." He said causing Severus to pale, his stomach churning.

Lily found herself glancing over at the Slytherin table repeatedly, just to reassure herself that Severus was alright. At the end of Dumbledore's speech, she saw a seventh year Slytherin sit down next to Severus and whisper something. The older student's body language didn't seem openly hostile... but whatever he said shocked Severus badly. He looked ill. Worse than this afternoon, when he'd been bleeding. And his face went noticeably paler... which for Severus was downright alarming.  
He looked like... well, the Muggle expression 'like he'd seen a ghost' didn't really work for Hogwarts students. Sev didn't look like he'd _seen_ a ghost. He looked like he _was_ one.

But there was nothing she could do for the moment. At least they couldn't do anything to Sev right now, not in plain sight of the entire Hogwarts staff. She'd have to get a hold of him later and find out what was going on, and if there was any way she could help.

Severus placed his fork and knife down on the table as the seventh year walked away. He had barely taken two bites of his food but he found that he couldn't stomach anything. Severus stood from his seat and moved to the front door and headed towards the common rooms. This was a turn of events that he should have anticipated, but he didn't think it would happen this soon. At least not while they were in school. If there was anyone who knew the death eaters, it was him. He wouldn't put it past them to make it look like an "accident".

Lily saw Severus get up and leave suddenly. She forced herself to wait a few minutes before making an excuse to her friends, saying she'd be right back, and leaving the Great Hall after him. She didn't want any casual observer to be able to tell she was following Severus... but she had to find out what was wrong.

Severus decided to forgo going to the common room and moved through the castle wanting to get away from everyone. He paused in the hallway on the seventh floor not even realizing he'd gone upstairs and paused. He walked back and forth a minute before he started kicking the wall angrily and banging his fists against the hard stone. He paused and rested his head against the wall before turning and sliding down the wall to sit on the floor.

What now? Nothing was going as it should be ... He was going to lose Lily anyway. Whether from walking away from her to protect her, or from her death happening again ... there was no form of reality where he could have her. That realization suddenly ate at him more than her death had originally ... even then he had this thoughts of "what if" ... but this _is_ "what if" and "what if" is turning out to be the exact same as "it was" ...

Lily finally caught up with him on the seventh floor. She heard banging on the walls, and sprinted up the last few stairs... just to find Severus sinking to the floor to sit against the wall.

She stood there for a moment, not sure what to do or how to approach him. She couldn't even remember ever seeing him quite this upset.

"Severus?" she whispered. "Severus... what's wrong?"

Severus clenched his fists, his arms resting on his knees. His entire body stiffened when he heard her voice. He couldn't do this to her. "You shouldn't be here." He said quietly, staring straight ahead. Maybe if he didn't look at her he could will himself back to where he'd come from ... back to the shrieking shack. He'd take the gouge on his neck, the torn flesh and blood over this ... he couldn't hear she'd been killed again. He couldn't do it.

He was sure this time around that no matter what happened - if Lily was murdered ... especially because of him ... not even Dumbledore would be able to stop him from joining her.

Lily shook her head. "I'm not going anywhere," she said quietly. She went over to him, sat down on the floor beside him, and laid a hand on his arm. "Sev," she said gently. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

Severus moved away from her, still not looking at her. "No ... I can't." He said staring at the floor. He couldn't tell anyone. Truth be told he could tell Dumbledore and have the student expelled without graduating for threatening the life of a student ... but that would just make the matter worse and they knew that. He should have expected this ... should have seen this coming. He was stupid to think he could just sit aside while the war was going on. He was going to be dragged right back into the thick of it.

Lily let Severus move away, but still stayed where she was, looking steadily at him. Whatever Severus was dealing with, it was clearly devastating him. He shouldn't have to face it alone. Especially if it had something to do with this afternoon. If that was the case, then she was involved already, whether Severus liked it or not. She wasn't going anywhere. "Severus," she said quietly. "What did he say to you?"

Severus kept staring at the floor and kept his mouth shut. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't tell her ... he couldn't! If he told her ... then what? If he told her at least then she'd be prepared ... or she'd be scared to be around him ... Severus closed his eyes and rested his head in his knees. For once he was lost. He had no one to follow ... he wasn't a leader, even when he was headmaster. He was a follower, he took orders, this ... this was all new to him. And he felt like he was failing.

Lily didn't know what to do. It hurt to see him like this. How was she supposed to help if he wouldn't let her? "Sev, please," Lily wrapped her arms around him. "Don't shut me out, just..." What else was she supposed to say? How could she get him to confide in her? For awhile, she just stayed there and hugged him in silence. Then she finally spoke again: "Was it about what happened this afternoon?"

Severus leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. It felt good having her hold him like this but she should be downstairs with her friends ... not up here with him worrying.

"They said if I kept hanging around you, they'd do something really bad." Severus said opening his eyes and staring at the wall ahead of him.

Lily had been afraid it might be something along those lines... surely the possibility had occurred to Severus before too? He was still holding something back, she was sure of it. There was no way Severus would be this distraught over so vague a threat. Lily was quiet for a moment, before asking: "How bad?"

Severus looked down the hall way before looking at her. "I don't want to talk about it. I have to think on what's going to happen next year ... I don't want to stop being your friend ... you know how I feel about you ... but ..." Severus paused and looked back down at the ground. "If you feel that this is to dangerous ... being around me ... then I won't be mad at you or anything if you walked away." Severus said, knowing she more than likely would. Just like last time.

Lily stared at him. "What? Severus... Do you _want_ me to leave?" No. That didn't make any sense. She _knew_ that wasn't what he wanted. Before this afternoon, she might of doubted it, but she'd just seen him punch one of his former friends in the face for calling her the 'M' word. He had to have known he was taking a risk, and that hadn't bothered him so much before. No. Severus wasn't worried for his own sake... he was worried about her.

"No," Lily shook her head, starting to get angry. "I'm not going to just abandon you because of what someone else thinks! We'll come up with something else."

Severus looked at her, feeling rather defeated. After coming straight out of a war and being thrust back into the start of it, Severus felt like his entire brain was melting inside his skull at this point. "Like what?" He asked. "If we tell Dumbledore his solution would be to separate us ..." Severus paused and thought about it a moment. Things are still changing. Other things that would impact everyone else as well. He hadn't thought of that as well ... he'd focused on the threat and nothing more.

"I have an idea ... and I think it will work ..." He said sitting cross legged now and starting to calm down a bit. "No one sees us over the summer so we'll be fine over the summer - when we go out to dinner, I'll tell you the rest of my idea okay? It's in relation to the news I want to give you." He said, knowing Dumbledore scheduled a meeting with the wizengamot for two weeks into summer. "It won't be easy in the least ... but it'll keep us both safe."

Lily nodded. "Alright," she said. "And in the meantime, I think if we're careful we can both keep a low profile until tomorrow morning." Now that they knew there was a serious threat in place, anyway. In hindsight, walking into the Great Hall holding hands had not been the best possible move.

She was glad to see him calming down a little, though. The sheer level of despair he'd shown was alarming.

She looked him in the eyes. "Are you going to be alright? Going back to the Slytherin Common Room tonight, I mean."

"I'm going to go and speak with Dumbledore. I'll tell him something vague along the lines of what happened. I'm sure he'll find somewhere else for me to stay tonight." He said, though had no intentions of actually doing so. He said it more to put her mind at ease. He knew she wouldn't sleep if she continuously thought he was in danger. "I'll be fine tonight."

Lily looked at Severus for a moment, unsure of whether he actually intended to go to Dumbledore, or what he would even tell the headmaster if he did. He'd have to walk a very thin line to give Dumbledore enough information to take the problem seriously, but not enough to warrant splitting them apart, or risk bringing down retribution from other hostile Slytherins.

Severus had a talent for that kind of subtlety when he put his mind to it, but still... Whatever Severus had up his sleeve, at least she knew he would be cautious now and watch out for himself.

"Okay," she sighed. "Just... Be careful anyway."

Severus nodded. "I will."

((OMG 50 reviews are you kidding me? Keep them coming I love them!))


	11. On the sidewalk

((A/N - I can't believe how much support and reviews this story has been getting and only on chapter 10! Thank you all for reading and enjoying and sticking with us for this long. Thank you so much to all the readers and reviewers. Keep them coming, they're always an inspiration to write more.))

Chapter 11

After they separated Severus walked to the common room, his hands in his pockets. He wasn't afraid o these boys, but he feared for Lily. What they would do to her when he wasn't around.

Severus stepped into the common room, knowing there was only one thing he could do. Pretend he had an ulterior motive to being around Lily. Be smart about this so it would keep them off his tail ... Make excuses.

Once Snape had entered the common room, Mulciber and Avery were on him almost immediately, as if they had been lying in wait. Avery shoved him into a wall. Mulciber had a nasty bruise forming on his face where Snape had hit him, and an angry scowl to match.

"Care to tell us," Mulciber snarled. "What the hell that was about? Because it _looks_ like you've completely lost your mind over that dirty little Mudblood."

Enough other Slytherins were present in the Common Room that, if a fight were to break out, it could go very badly for Severus.

The seventh year who had approached him earlier was lounging in a nearby chair, listening.

"You really are a dull twit aren't you?" Severus asked sneering at him and shoving him away from him. "I'm using her you idiot!" He said straightening his uniform. "I have every intention of showing her her place ... And I can't do that if you keep interfering!" Severus said yelling angrily by the end of his sentence.

They stared.

"What?" Avery asked, eyebrows lowering. "How are you planning on doing that?"

"And was it really necessary to be _quite_ that convincing?" Mulciber crossed his arms. "Really, Snape, if you'd just _said_ something before, I could have helped you put on a show instead of putting you in the Hospital Wing."

The seventh-year in the armchair continued listening, with a judicious stare that did not seem convinced.

"And what exactly would a show be worth?" He asked. "She isn't stupid ... If you had kept your nose in your own business nothing would have happened. My plans for her are my own business and so help me Salazar if you touch what is mine, I will personally see your testicles filled with acid and make sure you will never ..." He glanced down at his pants, a disgusted look on his face. "Work ... again." He said getting right into Mulciber's face. "Do I make myself clear?" He asked, wondering if his intimidating persona still worked as a teenager. He hoped so, the last thing he needed was an entire room of Slytherin's seeing through his act.

Mulciber's eyes widened slightly, and he took a step back, holding out both hands apologetically. "Alright, alright, you've made your point. We're just trying to look out for your best interests here; Slytherin's got an image to keep up, you know?"

Avery nodded in earnest agreement.

Mulciber glanced around, aware that people were watching him.  
He cracked a smile and laughed, though there was a slight edge of nervousness to it. "You really had us all going there. Poor little Mudblood will never see it coming."

They both turned and walked away.

The seventh-year in the chair stared at Snape for a long moment afterward, before turning back to his own friends. He still did not look entirely convinced, but seemed appeased for the moment.

Severus glanced at the seventh year, he wouldn't matter - he was gone after today. It was the others he had to appease. He moved to his room and changed into his pajamas, before crawling into bed. He suddenly regretted not having eaten anything. His stomach growled rather loudly as he shut the curtains around his bed, using a sticking charm to keep them shut and placed a silencing charm over his bed. He didn't want to think about anything but sleep.

Even despite that though, sleep did not come easy.

Lily was preoccupied as she headed back to the Gryffindor common room. Would Severus be alright? Would Dumbledore protect him from the other Slytherins for now? The more she thought about it, the more she thought he wouldn't. But Sev knew how to watch out for himself... right?

Did it mean something, that she was this worried about him? Or was it just because he was a good friend in trouble? Trying to figure that out was complicated enough without the threat of imminent danger to both of them. To think, hours ago her biggest worry had been the OWLs.

It wasn't until she stepped through the portrait hole that Lily realized how long she and Severus had been talking... and remembered that she'd told her friends she would be right back.

Mary McDonald immediately looked up at Lily, and stood up. "You've been with that Snape boy haven't you?" Mary asked as Henrietta and Marleen joined her. "I thought you said you were going to be right back Lily. Why are you running off with him? He's no good. You see the kind of stuff he's into." Mary said, as if Lily had grown another head.

"Yeah, just look at what Snape and his friends did to Mary the other week! And he thought it was funny!" Henrietta complained. She seriously didn't understand what Lily saw in Snape ... he was ugly, greasy, fowl tempered and had an all-around horrid disposition.

Lily sighed. This was really going to take some explaining. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was gone that long, but it was really important." She shook her head. "And I told you, I already confronted him about what happened the other week. It was wrong of him to treat it lightly, but that was Mulciber who did that, not Snape, and right now they're not even friends anymore."

Marleen rolled her eyes. "Or so he says, Lily. Do you really buy that?"

How could she make them understand? A couple weeks ago, she had been completely furious with Severus, unable to believe him, and on the verge of giving up on him completely. And she had known him for years, long before he'd started getting involved with that lot. How could she explain that to her friends, who had only seen him at his worst?

"Lily, we're trying to look out for you. That boy is nothing but trouble!" Mary said. "He's probably just using you! I don't think he has your best intentions at heart. He's a greedy cruel boy and will grow into a greedy cruel man ..." Mary said seriously worried about her friend. "Next time he comes around, you tell him you don't want to see him anymore. Come spend time with us, forget about him. He doesn't need you anyway, he's got all his death eater buddies."

Lily shook her head. "You don't get it; they're _not_ his buddies anymore. I think he's in serious trouble now and... and it's at least partially because of me." She looked at Mary. "I understand what you're trying to do, and I appreciate your concern, but... right now he _does_ need me, and now that he's finally trying to be a better person again, I can't just give up on him."

"It was his own fault for getting himself in the situation he's in! It shouldn't be your responsibility to get him out!" Henrietta said angrily. "Why should you go out of your way to help him when he's done nothing for you! You are putting yourself in danger by associating with him ... a leopard doesn't change it's spots overnight Lily!"

Mary shook her head at Lily. "Go to him then ... if you choose him over us ... then go to him ... but when he hurts you ... don't you dare come crying back to us!" Mary said turning and walking up to the dorm rooms.

"I'm not choosing anyone over anyone!" Lily said angrily, though Mary was already on her way up to the dorms. There was no point trying to reason with her right now. But she still had the others to deal with.

"And we're not talking about leopards and spots, we're talking about _people! _People are complicated and they make mistakes, and... and how can you be so sure he's done nothing for me? It's not like any of you stick around when he shows up anyway."

"That's because we're not blind to who he is, nor who he hangs around with." Henrietta said. "He's winding down a dark path and you're going to get hurt if you follow him." She said. "You may not want to ... but you have to choose ... him ... or us. Because if you choose him, we aren't going to be here when you fall." Henrietta said agreeing with Mary. "It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to us ... so whether you like it or not ... you're choosing one." She said going up to the dorms with Mary.

Marleen shook her head, and turned to follow the other two.  
"They're right, Lily," she said. "And I'm not going to hang around and watch you wreck your life over Severus Snape."

Then Marleen too walked up the stairs, leaving Lily standing alone in the Common Room.  
Lily stood there for a moment, seething with anger. Had she seriously just lost all of her friends in Gryffindor? Just like that?

"Fine, then," Lily muttered. They would either come around or they wouldn't. But she wasn't about to abandon one friend just because her other friends said she should. This kind of 'us and them' mentality never led to anything good in the real world, and was a load of immature melodramatic drama here.  
Severus had just lost all of his friends for her. If she abandoned him now to keep hers... that would be outrageously unfair. If Lily had to choose, then it had to be Severus.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Severus yawned as he walked through the train, moving to the very last cart which was still empty, and he knew it would until Lily showed up. No one ever wanted to share a cart with him. Not even the students in his own house.

He tossed his bag up onto the top rack of the cart and sat down, sitting sideways, his feet up on the seat, leaning back against the wall by the window. He hadn't slept much the night before and was required to be up at six in the morning to catch the train. He was tired.

Lily easily found the compartment Severus had claimed, and let herself in, closing the door behind her.  
Sev looked exhausted, and from the way he had put his feet up, Lily decided he had the right idea. Once she had stowed her things, she took up a similar position on the seat opposite from him.

"Rough night?" she asked.

Lily hadn't managed to really get any sleep at all either. At least Severus seemed to be in one piece; that was certainly a relief.

"Mmm..." Severus groaned, his eyes closed. "A lot on my mind." He said slowly opening his eyes and looking at her. He still couldn't believe he was here. He kept expecting to open his eyes and it would all be a dream. That he was still lying on the floor of the shack, hallucinating from blood loss. Do people even hallucinate from blood loss? Severus wasn't sure, but he kept expecting it.

"You're really here right?" He asked, watching her, knowing the question would confuse her more than anything, but he couldn't help but ask. Even if it was a silly question to her.

Lily raised an eyebrow, confused at what he meant by that. "No, I'm an android like in one of those Muggle movies," she laughed. "Of course I'm here. Where else would I be?"

She studied his face. Was he just surprised that she had stuck around? Was that what this was about?

"And I'm not going anywhere," she reassured him, stifling a yawn. "Except maybe to sleep."

Severus turned in his seat and moved to the other side of the compartment, sitting on the other side of the bench. He held his hand out to her. "I make a better pillow than the wall does." He said quietly. "Unless you don't want to ... in which case I'll probably blush profusely and move back to my seat in shame." He said with a bit of a chuckle.

Lily looked over at him for a moment, her face reddening slightly. "Um... sure," she said, then smiled. "Why not?" She took his hand and went over to him, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Yep," she agreed. "Definitely better than the wall." After she'd spent all night worrying about whether Severus was safe, having him this close was... reassuring.

Severus was a little shocked that she actually leaned against him, and he wrapped his arm around her. He wasn't very comfortable himself, but he couldn't imagine being anywhere else right now.

It wasn't long later that he slowly drifted to sleep.

This was actually rather nice, Lily decided. Could just be because she was tired... she'd figure that out later. From the sound of Severus's breathing, he seemed to have fallen asleep. That was good. Sev needed it. Lily yawned again and closed her eyes, finally able to relax, and drifted to sleep as well.


	12. Waiting for the rain

Chapter 12

Severus was woken up by the sliding of the door opening. He opened his eyes and saw Potter with his back to him, silently closing the door.

"What do you want?" Severus whispered, not wanting to wake up Lily.

James stared in shock at Lily Evans asleep with her head on Snape's shoulder. How the hell had that happened? He didn't understand it. It... it was _Snape_, dammit! What was going on between them? Was there really something there, or did Snape just keep arranging these moments to piss James off? Was Lily in on it? James knew he made her angry... well, pretty much all the time. Was this some kind of mutual vengeance thing?

But... but... Lily was genuinely _asleep_ snuggled up to Snape! There was no way she had done that just in case James decided to stop by and bother them. Was there?

James had to look away; he was giving himself a headache. "Um... right," he whispered, rubbing at his temples. "Look... What Sirius did yesterday... I talked to him about it, and it shouldn't happen again. If it does, you come tell me, and I'll take care of it. So..."

He looked down at Snape again, only to see Lily there resting against him. James felt like his brain was trying to tie itself into a knot. He gestured wildly, but still whispered: "She _is_ just doing this to piss me off, right? Tell me you're both just doing this to piss me off?"

So that's what their little Marauders meeting was about? He looked down at lily before looking back up at Potter.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." He said stretching his legs though careful not to wake Lily. He was sore from how he was sitting, but it was okay. "You didn't tell Black or Pettigrew did you?" Severus asked.

_You know bloody well what I'm talking about you smug, greasy, hook-nosed bastard._

But James kept those thoughts inside his head. "What?" James stared at him. "Yes," he said, sarcastically. "After that stunning display of maturity, I decided that Sirius was responsible enough for top-secret information after all. And then I splinched my brain and gave Pettigrew the benefit of the doubt while I was at it." He rolled his eyes. "Honestly, if you really think I'm that stupid, why did you involve me in the first place?"

"You can't fault me for making sure. I was basing your ability to lead of what I learned of your adult self ... Not your current maturity because you are still rather immature. Either way ..." Severus paused as Lily moved, scared she would wake up. When she stilled again Severus let go of the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Do you think your parents would allow you to come back to the school a few times over the summer?" Severus asked.

"I am not immat-" James started to argue, but then they both paused as Lily moved in her sleep. If she woke up and saw James in the compartment, she'd probably be angry at him for dropping in on them, or possibly just for existing in their general vicinity.

This was still just too weird.

It took a moment to get his brain back on track and process what Snape was actually saying.

"Um... yeah, probably. I should be able to arrange that."

"Have you recruited anyone yet? Did anyone reject the 'invitation'?" He asked. Anyone who rejected it would have to be obliviated for cautionary reasons.

James nodded. "Remus is in, and he hasn't said a word either. Plus a few others..."

James fished a list he'd made out of his pocket, with the names of people who had already agreed to join. "No outright rejections yet, but the ones with stars by their names took a lot of convincing, so we may want to watch them, make sure they're committed to it."

Severus looked at the list. There were two stars. "They'll join ... and they won't say anything. Even with what little information you gave them they will understand how important this movement is. They will be committed. I'm not worried about those two. It's the ones on the other list I'm worried about. We will start recruiting those ones after school starts again. When we will have the time to monitor and keep an eye on them. Recruit one at a time, make sure they are fully committed before moving onto the next. It'll take a bit longer but leave for less leaks." Severus handed the list back to him. "Keep an eye on that. Put a blank charm on it if you need to, but make sure no one else gets it. If they do, think of some excuse beforehand. Start thinking a head on everything. It will be hard to do at first, but it will become second nature."

He paused and looked up at James. "You are good at wizards chess as I remember yes?" Severus asked.

"Yes," James answered, and crossed his arms, a little irritated. He also knew perfectly well how to keep someone from reading a piece of parchment if he didn't want them too, and he had plenty of experience making up excuses... Then again, maybe not quite on the level of Future Snape. And, admittedly, James maybe didn't always plan his actions out ahead of time.

He really hated realizing that Snape had a point... especially right now, when Snape also apparently had Lily. But there was more going on here than just them. James had to keep reminding himself of that.

"Look at it all like a game of chess, you always have to think a few moves ahead otherwise you'll be losing more pieces than necessary and could in the end put your king in check mate and the game is over. That's the last thing we want. As a leader this is exactly what this is going to be ... you'll be getting pawns and rooks and bishops, and you'll have to move them into the correct spots, with the correct orders ... you won't just be training them ... you'll be leading them." He said with a sigh. "With my help of course. It's why I want you to come to the school over the summer. I'll start you on some training of your own, things you aren't taught in school. You'll have a bit of a heads up on any potential death eaters at the school." He said looked down at Lily to make sure she was still sleeping. "They don't start learning anything outside school until they've been fully recruited which will be around eighteen or nineteen. It's rare they'll take anyone younger though they do take considerations, and do have supporters in the school."

James nodded solemnly. The metaphor began to take on some disturbing implications. If any 'pieces' were lost... James would be responsible for it. Sure, people had followed James before... but not in a situation like this. However apt the chess metaphor might be, this wasn't a game. If James failed to think ahead, if he messed up... the consequences could be dire.

Suddenly, he was glad to have someone more experienced working with him... even if it was Snape.

"I understand," he said. He paused for a moment, and nodded at Lily. "How much of this are you planning on telling her?"

Severus shrugged. "I'll tell her ... all of it. But not now. Not when so much is hanging in the balance. The less she knows of me, the safer she'll be. The last thing we need is for someone to do something to her to get to me ... or you ..." He said pausing as he saw a seventh year Hufflepuff walk past their cart to the washroom that was at the end of the train. Once the Hufflepuff went back to their own cart he continued speaking. "Once all of this is over, and we're all safe ... then I'll tell her. Everything. Who I was, what I've done ... I don't want to keep secrets from her, and I hate having to do that right now. But it's not what she needs. What she needs now is a friend who will stay by her side, and people she can surround herself with that will work with her, and help fight with her." He said, careful not to say the word protect. She didn't need to be protected. She needed her back covered. Lily wasn't the type of girl to be locked away in a tower while other people fight for her.

"I will be telling her of our group ... I'll tell her you were suggesting it to Remus and I overheard. She'll believe that. I'll have a bit of a time convincing her that I convinced you to allow me to join behind the scenes ... but I'll think of something." He said, still unsure how that was going to play out.

"Guess that works," James shrugged. "If... if you think that's safer."

He couldn't look at Snape with his arm around Lily for much longer. He turned to leave. "Right. That's all I came to say. Unless there's something else we need to talk about, I'll... see you for training."

Severus nodded. "Yes. Message me when you're free." He said as James left the compartment.

((Sorry guys short chapter but here you go, as always, every Friday. Saturday if I'm particularly lazy xD please please please R&R I'm loving all the reviews. The more the merrier. :D ))


	13. To wash away

Chapter 13

Severus came back into the compartment and crouched down next to where he left Lily sleeping. The train was about to stop and he had to change into his muggle clothes. The retched ugly rags that barely passed as clothing.

"Lily." Severus whispered. "Lily, we're stopping soon." He said gently shaking her shoulder.

"Hmm?"

Lily blinked a few times as she returned to wakefulness.  
She brushed her hair back from her face, and looked at Severus, crouched down beside her.  
"Did I really sleep the whole way?"

Severus smirked slightly, though he didn't show his teeth. He nodded as he held his hand out to her to help her sit up. "You did. It's okay though, you needed the sleep." They both did, but Severus wasn't about to complain about his lack of sleep. He was used to not sleeping. "The train is going to stop soon. You should go get changed." He said, thinking back to the end of his fifth year. Did someone come to pick him up? No ... no, no one came to pick him up. And because he'd been in a fight with Lily, the Evan's hadn't driven him home either. He remembered Mr. Evans asking if he'd like a ride home to Cokeworth ... remembered looking at Lily and declining. He also remembered the two days it took him to walk home in the rain.

Severus could already tell from the clouds outside that it was going to start raining soon. At least this time, he didn't have to walk.

Lily took his hand, and sat up, then stretched and stood. 

"Right, better go put on my Muggle costume," Lily smiled slightly. Just one of these days, she would like to see the look on Petunia's face if she showed up at the station still in wizarding attire... but there were rules against that for a reason.

"You alright?" she asked. "Did you get enough sleep yourself?"

"I'm fine." Severus said as she stood up, avoiding the sleep question. "Why?" He asked, wondering why she would ask such a thing. Other than the fact that he was probably still staring at her like a dope. He still had a hard time grasping the reality that she was there ... standing in front of him ... watching him ... looking at him funny cause he was staring at her grinning like an idiot. He should stop that ... he knew that ... but ... Severus opened his mouth to say something before he realized it would make no sense to her. Instead he said "You better hurry up ... don't want to keep your parents waiting." He said feeling the train slowly coming to a stop.

Lily was about to answer that Severus seemed... preoccupied by something, and still looked a little tired, dazed almost, and that he had not _really_ answered her question, strictly speaking... when the train stopped. 

"Right!" she ran to go change. "See you in a minute!" she called back after him.

"I'll be out on the platform." Severus said before he pulled his trunk off the top rack and pulled Lily's down as well. He pulled them into the hall and down to the platform. He thought about shrinking them, but that would seem to suspicious to everyone around him. As he expected, Eileen or Tobias wasn't on the platform, he did how ever, see Mr. And Mrs. Evans standing and waiting for Lily. Surprisingly ... or he supposed, unsurprisingly, Petunia wasn't there.

"Hello Mr. Evans, Mrs. Evans." He greeted them, with a soft smile. "Lily's just getting changed. She fell asleep on the train." He said passing Lily's trunk to her father.

"Good to see you, Severus," Mr. Evans said amicably, taking Lily's trunk. No sooner had Lily's trunk exchanged hands, then Mrs. Evans walked up and hugged him. She knew the boy wasn't really one to be fussed over, but someone had to, didn't they?

"How was your year, Severus dear? My goodness, you're getting to be quite tall now, aren't you?"  
Perhaps a recent growth spurt was why he was so thin... or maybe it was because he was so busy studying that he forgot to eat, as Lily often complained that he did. Well. They would just have to do something about that over the summer.

Lily emerged from the train in jeans and a pale blue t-shirt. "Hi, Mum! Hi Dad!" She ran up to them. 

"There you are," said her father said, wrapping an arm around her, then added jokingly. "Taking forever to change as usual." 

"I do not!" Lily grinned. Then she turned to her mum, who instantly dragged her into what was now a group hug. 

"Ow! Mum, I'm using those lungs!" she laughed.

Mr. Evans frowned thoughtfully, scanning the crowd, not seeing Tobias or Eileen anywhere. He turned to Severus. 

"Do you need a ride back from the station, Severus?"

Severus embarrassingly rubbed his hand over his neck as he gently pulled away from Mrs. Evans. "I'm sure she'll be here soon." He said, knowing that there was no way Tobias would show up. He knew neither of them where going to show up - but if he didn't show a little resistance against it, and jumped at the chance for the ride, it would seem rather suspicious and out of character for him.

"I don't want you to go out of your way for me." He said, knowing his house was quite a bit farther than theirs. It had always taken him almost an hour and a half to walk from his house to the park where he always met Lily, where as it was an additional five minute walk to Lily's house. The park was much more convenient for her. Even driving - it would put them back over half an hour to drop him off and get home themselves.

"Oh, don't be silly," said Mrs. Evans. "It's not any trouble." Besides, Lily might like to spend some more time talking to her friend.

"Why don't we wait a little while," said Mr. Evans. "And if we still don't see her, you can ride back with us?"

Mr. Evans worried about Severus. The boy's parents had never seemed to take an active interest in him. This would not be the first time they had been late to pick him up from the platform, or not shown up at all. Maybe they were just very busy. It was not his business to pry, and he certainly did not want to embarrass the young man... Still. It was worrying.

Lily looked at Severus. "Really, Sev, it's no problem." He could be so stubborn about this sort of thing sometimes.

Severus shrugged. "I suppose ..." He said as Mr. Evans was already taking his trunk from him and putting it into the deep trunk of the car next to Lily's. He moved to the other side of the car, the side he usually sat in when Petunia wasn't there, and got into the car after Mr. and Mrs. Evans got in. There really was no arguing with the Evans'. Even after Lily had stopped talking to him, he recalled many times where he would be walking past their house for one reason or another and if Lily wasn't home, the Evans' always invited him in for a cookie, or lunch to 'talk'. He knew they were just trying to take care of him ... to do the job his own parents weren't doing. He always politely declined.

He had his suspicions that the Evans' knew he was being abused at home, but they never said anything. They always tried to be there for him though, in other ways.

Lily got into the car and sat in the back next to Severus, and buckled her seatbelt. She was glad her parents were always so welcoming toward Severus... and a little relieved that Petunia wasn't here. It was just the sort of thing that Petunia never really seemed to understand; she didn't seem to realize that not everyone was lucky enough to have parents like theirs. Lily, on the other hand, was becoming increasingly aware of that.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans got into the front of the car, and they started off down the road. "So," asked Mrs. Evans. "How do you two think you did on those exams you were talking about? Owls, I think you called them?"

Severus looked at Mrs. Evans who sat in the passenger's seat in front of Lily. "Yes, they are called OWL's. Our next exams are NEWTS. I thought they were too easy." He said glancing at Lily. "But that might just be me. There were quite a few students who found it quite hard." He said.

Lily raised an eyebrow. " 'Easy' isn't exactly the word I would use... but then we all know Sev's a genius," she elbowed him playfully. "I feel like I did well on it, though. The studying paid off."

"Well, I don't think anyone doubted that," said Mrs. Evans. She wished she knew more about the wizarding world; there was really nothing that Mr. and Mrs. Evans could do to prepare their daughter for a life that they themselves could not fully share in. Fortunately, Lily had turned out to be quite responsible, and learned what she needed to. No doubt it had helped to have a friend from the beginning, though.

"You two should do something to celebrate," Mrs. Evans added.

Severus cleared his throat nervously. "Well ... we were actually already planning on going out to dinner some time ... in celebration of the completion of our OWLs of course." He added that last part quickly and turned to look out the window to watch the houses go past. He felt his cheeks tinting red and wished he wasn't so pale so it wouldn't be so obvious.

"Oh, what a lovely idea," said Mrs. Evans. Lily quickly changed the subject before things could get any more embarrassing. 

"So, Mum, how's your garden been coming along?" 

"Well, the bulb plants have been just thriving, you should see the daffodils..."

Mr. Evans said nothing, but watched Severus's face for a moment in the rear view mirror. Better not to get involved or ask questions just now. Though he might have to have a serious talk with Severus later.

Severus glanced at Lily nearly two hours later when they pulled up in front of the town house he used live in. Or what could pass as living. Barely. Severus looked up at Lily's parents as he pulled the handle to open the door.

"Thank you for the ride." He said as Mr. Evans got out to unlock the trunk for him. Severus pulled the trunk out of the car before Mr. Evans shut it.

Lily waved sadly at Severus. She knew they had the whole summer ahead to spend together, but she still always hated leaving him here. There was such a bleak feel to this place; nothing visual that Lily could point out, but still the feeling was there, hovering in the air. Maybe it was because she had never been inside, so to her this was always a place where she and Sev said goodbye. Or maybe it was because Severus never seemed happy to be here. When coming home after a year away at school... what must home be like if he wasn't even glad to see it?

"I'll see you soon, Severus," Lily said, making herself smile. After all, they had their dinner together coming up. And Sev knew he was welcome to escape to the Evans house for a visit as often as he was able.

((A/N – Aaaaand there's another chapter for all you fine people, both new and anyone following this story. Hope you all enjoy. More to come. Big changes in the next chapter. And as always please R&R))


	14. You keep coming back

((A/N - I know the last chapter was boring - not much happened - but as I promised, big events in this chapter. Please don't lynch me for what I have done.))

**Warning - ****Trigger alert - This chapter deals heavily with physical abuse. If such content offends or disturbs you - please skip and wait for the next chapter.**

Chapter 14

Severus slowly crept down the stairs, trying to peer into the living room where his father lay passed out on the couch. It had been almost a week since he'd seen or heard from Lily, mainly because he was locked in the house and wasn't allowed to leave. He'd snuck out a few times during the night, but it was always too late to go see her.

Severus reached the bottom of the stairs and paused, listening to the near silent house, the only sounds the creaking of the floor boards under his weight. He peered into the living room and saw his father sitting on the couch passed out, a half spilled beer in his hand. Severus shook his head. 'What a pathetic waste of a man.' Severus thought as he made his way to his father's coat.

Severus gently pulled out Tobias' wallet, a ring of keys falling from the pocket. Severus tried to catch them but missed, jingling the keys more as they plummeted to the floor with a loud metallic crash. Severus paused and listened. Still silence. Severus waited a few moments before he let go of the breath he didn't realize he was holding and opened the wallet. There was sixty bucks inside, enough for more than a good meal at a restaurant.

Severus pocketed the money and turned to move towards the front door.

Tobias's half-consumed can of beer flew in Severus's direction, narrowly missed his head, and crashed into the wall behind him, the remainder of its contents spilling out in all directions.

Tobias lumbered groggily to his feet, scowling at his son. "Where in the bloody hell do you think you're going at this hour?" he growled, his words running together a little. That one beer can was far from the first this evening.

Severus paused. "It's only six Tobias." He said shaking beer off his hand. He knew he should be treading lightly but he was so sick of Tobias brute drunken rage. "I was going to the park." He said simply, hoping the man would just leave it at that. The truth was Dumbledore was meeting him at the park in an hour and a half because they had to talk to McGonagall about signing for his newts so that they could set a court date. But Tobias didn't need to know about that.

Tobias glanced at his watch; it really was only six. "Don't take that tone with me, boy," he said, and took a step toward Severus, blocking his way to the door. "Mind telling me what you were doing rummaging through my jacket? Turn out your pockets." Why did Tobias get stuck with a son like this? Pale, scrawny, always sneaking about with those shifty eyes, a freak who couldn't be content to live a normal life, but had to go off to that fancy magic school learning who even knew what instead of making an honest living... He couldn't understand the boy, no matter how hard he tried. But what pissed Tobias off most was that the ungrateful brat clearly thought he was better than his own father. Severus's superior attitude was written in everything from the way he talked to the way he looked back at him. And Tobias would not put up with his own son treating him like a failure.

Severus rolled his eyes as he moved around Tobias towards the door. "Why don't you get back to your drink and let me go along my day?" he said reaching for the door handle.

Tobias grabbed Severus by his scrawny shoulder and shoved him into the wall so hard that a couple of picture frames fell off. Then again, they may not have been particularly stable to begin with.  
"Don't you dare roll your eyes at me!" he shouted. "You're under my roof, and you're not going anywhere unless I bloody well say so! Now turn out your pockets!" Where the hell did Severus learn to act so goddamn high and mighty? Certainly not from his father. Tobias was sick of it.

Severus twisted his arm and knocked his arm back. "Don't touch me." He said, his back and head aching with how hard he hit the wall.

Tobias snarled and punched Severus hard in the stomach. It was a loose swing, lacking in precision and finesse... but it was also an uninhibited swing, his drunken rage shutting down any caution or logic that might have caused him to hold back.

"Do _not_ act like you're better than me!" He grabbed Severus's arm and twisted it behind his back, not caring at the moment how much force he was using, and started going through his son's pockets.

"What the hell is this?" he demanded, pulling out a handful of cash that he knew wasn't any of that nonsensical wizard money. He shook Severus, not caring how he pulled on Severus's arm. "How long have you been stealing from me boy!?"

Severus groaned as he was forced to the ground. He could feel the joints in his arm straining with the force as Tobias riffled through the pockets of his black jacket.

He glared at Tobias as the man yelled at him, spit flying as he questioned.

"I didn't steal it!" Severus lied as his father turned him onto his back, gripping him by the front of his shirt..

"Liar!" Tobias hit him across the face with a careless back-knuckled swing, then grabbed a hold of all of that greasy hair that Severus refused to cut and pulled back, forcing him to look up. "You look me in the eye and tell me that!" Tobias snarled. "Go on, talk to me like I'm an idiot! Try and fool me!"

Severus groaned as he was punched in the face and moved his hands up to fight back against Tobias. He swung at him knowing he would regret it. But he stood in front of Voldemort more times than he could count, he'd be damned if he was going to kneel before this tyrant. He just wished his pain tolerance was as high as it had been facing Voldemort.

Tobias knocked his hand away and punched him in the face again. "Ungrateful brat!" he growled. "Can't even throw a damn punch! What the hell are you going to do in the real world!? Can't wave your fucking magic wand at every problem and make it go away! Your useless mother proved that!"

He shoved Severus away in disgust and stood over him. "Whatdja steal my money for, hmm? What I provide not good enough for you?"

Severus winced as he was punched again. His head swam as he was thrown against the floor, hitting his head against the dusty dirty old wooden floor. Severus sneered back at him.

"What you provide?" Severus asked. "You provide nothing to this family! You waste your money away on booze and girls while you leave your wife and son to starve! To make do with what pitiful amount you leave for us ... How many times has mother cleaned up your vomit from the floor, or my blood because you were 'bored' ... You are angry at your own miserable life and you take it out on me because unlike you I WILL make something of myself ... And you know it!" Severus ranted at him, he knew every word speaking true. "You say you are a better man than me because you are older ... Age means nothing when you are wasting your life."

"SHUT UP!" Tobias bellowed, and kicked Severus hard in the back. "You shut your ungrateful mouth! I work my ass off in that factory," he kicked Severus repeatedly with each word. "Every. Fucking. Day. Your goddamn generation has no bloody idea!" He kicked him again. "Just how fucking lucky you are! Some of us grew up with rationing during the war, but we didn't fucking complain! But I bet you fucking magic types were immune to that even back then!" He kept kicking, over and over and over again. "What the hell are you doing to 'make something' of yourself at your fancy fucking magic school!? That where they teach you to steal from your old man?! You make me sick!"

Severus crumpled to the floor with each kick, his body wracked with pain and he was sure he heard a few cracks along with the flashes of pain.

"Yes cause that makes feeding your wife and child only three times a week perfectly okay!" Severus yelled back. No matter what this man did, he wouldn't cower from him. "Everything you went through makes it okay ... It's okay to starve your family, because you did. It's okay to beat your son because of the pain you experienced. You constantly remind us of how you were a war hero ... Have all your metals on display and your proud of it ... every child should see their father as a hero ... I see you as a tyrant and a brute ... You may have won badges of honor ... But to me you're just a coward!"

"Shut up!" Tobias shouted, kicking him hard in the chest. "You ungrateful, greasy, thieving little weasel!" He kicked him again in the stomach. "I don't see you out there, working to bring something home for yourself and your mother! So just shut up!" Tobias kicked him, over and over and over again, years of fear and bitterness and disappointment and jealousy and rage all coming out at once.

Severus grunted with each kick, but it didn't deter him. "So I suppose when I was three years old I should have been going out an working because YOU wanted to drink? I was and still am a child it is YOUR responsibility to take-" Severus paused as he was kicked again on the chest, knocking the air out of his lungs. "To take care of us ... You don't have a child for the purpose of taking care of you because you can't ... You have a child to love and to raise ... Something I've never had from either of you ... Why did you even bother having me?" He asked blood starting to pool in his mouth and run from his nose. He knew he was already bruising in places from the kicks. But Severus has been through worse. "Tell me ... Did either of your parents love you?"

"Don't you DARE bring your grandparents into this!" Tobias shouted, and kicked Severus hard repeatedly in the ribs. "And I don't know why we bothered! You think I wanted this!? To bring a child into this fucked up world!? You think you're still a child now, but you're old enough to take some responsibility! When I was your age-"

When he was Severus's age, he'd enlisted. His head had been filled with glory and idealism. But... but that had been a mistake. Sure, he'd done a lot of good, but the things he'd seen... His parents had pleaded with him not to, but he wanted to be like his father so damn much...

Tobias looked down at his son who wanted nothing to do with him... and thank God for that. Heaven forbid anyone ever end up the way Tobias had. Severus was bleeding heavily from his mouth and nose. It slowly sank in that Tobias was repeatedly kicking a sixteen-year-old boy while he was down. Possibly enough to cause serious damage. What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just man up and... and stop being this way?

Tobias shook his head. "Mistake," he murmured under his breath, taking a shaky step back and leaning against the wall. "It... was all a mistake."

He tossed the handful of money Severus had taken down at him. "Get out of my sight," he snarled, and stumbled off toward the kitchen. "And don't come back without a goddamn haircut."

He needed another beer. He hated that he needed it, but he couldn't hate himself any more than he already did right now. He needed to just keep drinking, or else he'd wake up remembering what he'd done.

Severus sneered at him. A mistake was he? Somehow ... that didn't surprise him. "If I was such a mistake," Severus said spitting blood onto the floor. "Then why didn't you just beat me out of her! You don't seem to have a problem with it now!" Severus yelled as his father made his way back into the kitchen, most likely to get another beer. Severus spit onto the money his father threw at him, saliva and blood covering the paper.

"I hope you're proud of your life! Of what you've become!" Severus said, slowly picking himself off the floor. "Your parents would be ashamed!" He yelled limping over to the front door. He needed help ... and he wasn't going to get it here. He limped down the front stairs hearing a crash from inside. There was no way he'd be meeting Dumbledore in the park, he'd make it to the Evan's before Dumbledore made it there and he'd be damned if he was going to die alone in a park.

It took him a lot longer to get to the Evans than he had thought it would. He'd collapsed three times on the way and crawled part of the way. The sun was already starting to go down by this point. He knew people saw him, but no one wanted to get involved with what ever happened to him. Cowards, the lot of them.

Severus saw the Evan's house as he moved slowly down the street. He felt his head swimming and felt like he was going to throw up. Almost there ... He made it to the front door and fell against the side of the house, ringing the doorbell before sliding down the siding of the house next to the door.

Lily had just come down the stairs to take a break from unpacking, and was closest to the front door.  
"I'll get it!" she called out, and went to answer it.

She opened the door to find Severus, bruised and bloody, collapsed against the side of the house.  
"Severus!" she cried out in alarm, and crouched down beside him, carefully laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. She was afraid she might make things worse; she'd never even seen him this bad off.

"Mom! Dad!" she shouted. "Come quick!"

Mr. and Mrs. Evans ran out from the living room. "Dear lord!" Mrs. Evans' face paled in shock. "We should get him to a hospital."

Mr. Evans nodded, his expression darkening in quiet fury. He had suspected something like this for a long time... but never that it could be this bad. What kind of man did this to his own son? And what kind of mother stood by and did nothing? Right now, he wanted nothing more than to get in the car and drive straight over to the Snape household and shout at Tobias loud enough to disturb the whole neighborhood...  
But taking care of Severus came first.

"Should... should we try to get him into the car?" Lily looked up at her father, worried. "I'm afraid to try and move him." Mr. Evans shook his head. "Better call an ambulance; the walk here was probably too much for him already." Mrs. Evans ran inside to make the call.

Severus was barely conscious as he heard the family around him rushing around. He wasn't that bad, was he? He knew he was talking but didn't know what he was saying ... perhaps he was bad. He didn't know how long it was, but he heard sirens muffled in the distance. They didn't call an ambulance did they? No ... that had to be going somewhere else. He groaned as someone moved him, and his shivered in pain as he was lowered to the ground, the sirens getting louder. He could still hear himself talking but his words were lost to him. Severus never heard the ambulance actually arrive as he finally lost consciousness.

Lily stayed with Severus, holding his hand as they waited for the ambulance. He kept apologizing, saying that he was sorry, that he didn't know where else to go... "No, Severus," Lily said, trying to be reassuring, trying not to panic or cry or let the worry or helpless anger creep into her voice. She smoothed Severus's hair back away from his face. "No, don't be sorry. We're going to take care of you, okay? I'm here. You're going to be alright..."

She didn't know whether Severus processed any of what she was saying, or if he was even aware of his surroundings, or what he was saying himself. He seemed really out of it. But she kept repeating her reassurances anyway, just to remind him that he wasn't alone... and to reassure herself that Severus would be fine. Severus was always fine...

He lost consciousness about the time that the ambulance arrived. They weren't allowed to ride with him, so the three of them followed along in the car to the hospital.

((A/N - Please don't lynch me for this ... Ahem ... Anyway - for those who are questioning about Tobias being a war hero - just simply for the fact that it won't likely be mentioned in the story again - Tobias was 14 when he lied about his age to enlist during WWII and had received a purple heart, among other awards during his three year service, due to his injury that he sustained during the war to save another soldiers life, he is unable to find work outside of the shitty job he has at the factory down the street on Spinners End. He also walks with a limp - The age he enlisted makes him 32 when he had Severus, Eileen is a bit younger, she was 23 when she had him.))


	15. To the scene of the crime

((A/N – I'm sorry for the late post. I had some stuff come up this weekend, and a family emergency. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter.))

Chapter 15

They went into the hospital room as soon as they were allowed. Lily sat next to Severus's bed, still holding his hand and worrying. Neither of her parents had even brought up the question of leaving; they knew she was determined to stay with him. She didn't care how long it took; Lily was not going to let Severus wake up alone.

Mr. Evans was talking with one of the doctors, while Mrs. Evans went to go see about acquiring a cup of tea for everyone, and call Petunia. Severus was in stable condition now, but the doctors wanted to keep him there overnight for observation.

When Severus awoke he felt like he was in more pain than when he passed out. He must have been in shock, which by this point would have worn off. He licked his lips which stung and could feel stitches against his tongue. He slowly opened his eyes trying to focus on where he was. There was a constant beeping and new it had to be a heart monitor. He was in a hospital ...

"Lily?" He asked, seeing her red hair before anything else.

"Severus," Lily smiled in relief at the sound of his voice. "How are you feeling?" She wanted to hug him, but he was so badly beaten all over that she was afraid she might hurt him. So she just held his hand in both of hers.

"Like I got run over by a hippogriff." Severus with smiling a bit but grimacing with a quiet groan as his ribs hurt. "I'm sorry ..." He said as Mrs. Evans came back into the room. "This is my fault." He said quietly, glancing to Mrs. Evans as she walked to the bed. He briefly wondered where Mr. Evans was, but it didn't really matter. He was probably somewhere in the hospital, or had gone home to Petunia.

Despite Severus's smile and attempt at wry humor, Lily could tell that it was a front; that hippogriff analogy was probably a lot more accurate than he wanted them to know. She opened her mouth to protest against Severus's blaming himself, but her mum spoke first as she entered the room.

"Your fault?" Mrs. Evans said, handing Lily a cup of tea and placing a gentle hand on Severus's shoulder. "I never heard anything so ridiculous. You did exactly the right thing, coming to us. Now, is there anything I can get for you? Are you thirsty? Hungry?"

Severus looked up at Mrs. Evans. "No thank you ..." He said quietly. His entire stomach turned with the thought of anything going into it. He glanced up at Lily. "Can you send a letter to Dumbledore ... tell him I'm here? I was supposed to meet him before I came to your house ... he'll wonder where I am and why I didn't show up." He said.

Lily nodded. "I can do that," she said. "As soon as we get home." Her owl was currently back at the house. She wondered, though, what Severus had been planning to meet with Dumbledore about. What could be so important that Dumbledore was meeting with a student over the summer?

Mr. Evans and the doctor returned from the hallway. Lily would have to ask later.

The doctor moved over to Severus and smiled kindly. "Ah, Mr. Snape. You're awake." He said placing a clip board back onto the attachment at the end of the bed. "I'm just going to have another look at your wounds, and then we'll let you get some sleep." He said gingerly reaching out and looking over the wounds on Snape's face before asking him if he was able to move enough to sit up. Severus nodded and struggled into a sitting position with a bit of help from the doctor. Severus pulled the gown off his shoulders, his face turning a nice shade of pink and winced at how much bruising he saw on his chest and stomach.

The doctor looked him over and nodded. "Just some bruising mostly. We got your x-rays back and found that there is a break in your left arm. We'll have you put into a cast before you go to sleep. It won't take long." He said stepping back from Snape and picking up the clip board again. "I had a talk with Mr. Evans here ... and I'd like to talk to you as well ... but we can do that in the morning, alright?"

Severus refrained from groaning. He didn't want to talk to this doctor but nodded none-the-less.

Lily winced at the severity of Severus's bruises. A sickening anger rose within her. The beating Severus had taken was brutal. How could anybody do this to another person? Had it really been his own father? The idea that someone could do this to their own son... she knew that it happened, at least in concept. But... it was impossible for her to understand or forgive. More than anything, she hated that she and her parents had dropped him off at that house. And she was fiercely determined to keep this from ever happening to Severus again. She hated that she couldn't do something _now_, though. She wished she could just make Severus stop hurting.

All she could do for now was stay with him.

As the doctor had said, it didn't take too long to get a cast on Severus's left arm. Lily stayed by Severus's bedside. She didn't know if it helped. But she wasn't going anywhere.

Since they would be staying with Severus at the hospital overnight, Mr. Evans drove home to pick up a few things, saying that he would be back soon.

((A/N - And just because this is a short chapter ….. I'll be kind, and I will post a second one. Don't say I never did nothing for yas! And as always please R&R))


	16. But the dead can't speak

Chapter 16

Tobias groaned as he heard a knock at the door, the sound feeling like it was reverberating around the inside of his skull. He raised his hand to his head, the beer can in his other hand falling to the floor. He stood up as the knock came again.

"I'm coming I'm coming shut the fuck up!" Tobias said making his way to the door. He opened it a crack with a loud creek and looked at the man standing on the cobblestone sidewalk. "Yeah? What the fuck do you want?"

Mr. Evans glared back through the crack in the door. Even from here, the stench of alcohol was heavy on Tobias's breath.

Mr. Evans had had good intentions of just going home, picking up a few things, and then heading back to the hospital... but his anger had brought him here first. Even he wasn't sure what he meant to accomplish by this visit... but someone had to talk to Tobias. Let him know that someone knew. This could not keep happening.

"I'm here to talk to you about your son," Mr. Evans said, keeping his tone even. "Did you know he's in the hospital?"

Tobias scoffed at what the man said, a bit of spit flying from his mouth. "What? The little shit couldn't lick his own wounds?" He asked before going to shut the door in the mans face. He didn't know who he was, nor did he really care ... ungrateful little shit. He's gonna cost him a pretty penny for that hospital bill.

Furious, Mr. Evans caught the door and shoved back, keeping it open.  
"Well, you know, he'd have had some trouble putting the cast on by himself," Mr. Evans hissed. "Did you really think no one would ever find out? That no one would ever say anything?"

"Bah!" Tobias said waving his hand flippantly as he walked to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and pulled out a beer. "You seen this neighborhood?" Tobias asked waving his hand around as if trying to indicate the entire area his ugly broken down town house currently sat in. "You're in the wrong house man ... you come in here preachin about how I should raise my boy ... look at the families around here ... you gonna go door to door preachin at them too?" He asked taking a big gulp of his beer. "This whole area of the city falling down around our ears ... and you're worried about some snot nosed nothing or other ..." Tobias pointed at Mr. Evans with his beer still in his hand, sloshing alcohol all over the floor.

"You're wasting your time on that boy, he ain't worth nothing and won't be nothin." He said leaning heavily on the counter. "Shoulda killed him when he first came home ... nearly bloody did ..." He said proudly. "Threw him straight across the room I did, little crying brat wouldn't shut up with his ear piercing screaming. To bad the damn sofa broke his fall. Would have saved us all the damn trouble and money he's taken from me." He said bringing the beer can back up to his lips.

Mr. Evans crossed his arms, mostly to hold back the temptation to punch Tobias in the face. As much as he'd like to, that wouldn't exactly put them on the right side of the law when they reported this. That, and even though they weren't at work, Tobias Snape was still technically an employee.  
He scowled, sickened by what Tobias said. The man had just confessed to throwing a baby across a room... and Mr. Evans had heard him say it. He stored the confession away in his memory, making a note of it in case Severus needed a witness later. As if Severus's injuries didn't speak for themselves.

"You know... this _wouldn't_ be my business," Mr. Evans said, in a low, forcibly calm voice. "If you kept your drinking problem for evenings and weekends... but that's not what your supervisors and coworkers have been saying for the last year or so. I've had reports of you slacking off on the job, coming in hours late to work, being careless about factory safety protocol, being rude and belligerent to your coworkers... even a few reports of drunkenness on the job."

He waited a moment for what he had just said to sink in.

Tobias scoffed. "You threatening my job?" Tobias asked. "You haven't said shit about my work performance until my waste of an offspring came to you ... he trying to get me fired? Ungrateful little shit wasn't satisfied with stealing money from me, he trying to take my job away too? That it?" He asked shaking his head. "You get the fuck out of my house and you tell that little shit he better not come back here! He can go live in the gutter for all I care ... I'm sick of him glaring at me like he's better ... like his shit don't stink ... He ain't better than me ... he gonna turn out just like me you watch and see. Any woman he's with she gonna be hiding from HIS drunk ass, just you watch!" He said dropping his beer can to the floor and struggling to pick it up despite it's half spilled contents.

"Just you watch, he'll have a kid he don't want, never wanted ... You gonna be standing there lecturing him too when that happens? Christ man ... get the fuck outta my house!"

Mr. Evans seethed with anger. Maybe Tobias was right to some degree; it was a fear that had certainly crossed Mr. Evans' mind once or twice. Severus might despise the idea of ever becoming like his father... but that was still the only example of family life he had ever lived with. Yet however damaged Severus might be, he was still his own person, capable of making his own decisions. And he deserved better than this.

"Fine," Mr. Evans shrugged, struggling not to shout at him. That would have to wait at least a moment. "You don't want him coming back here? Let me see his room, and I'll collect his things. Why keep them cluttering up your house? You won't have to deal with him or me again."

Tobias groaned as he moved away from the counter, reaching drunkenly into his pocket and fumbling with his keys. He pushed past Mr. Evans and into the front hall where he drunkenly tried to open a padded lock from the cupboard under the stairs. Once he managed to get it open he dropped the lock, more than likely by accident and pulled open the feeble rotting door. Under the stairs was filled with dusty old junk littered with beer cans Tobias had thrown there, more than likely years ago.

He pulled the tattered luggage chest from the cupboard and threw it to the floor before slamming the door shut so hard it bounced back open. Tobias didn't care. He left it open as he kicked the luggage chest towards the front door. "Take it ... there ain't nothin in there but some worthless text books and some notebooks I wouldn't be surprised anyone could damn well read his damn writing." He said kicking it again. It was so light it slid across the floor boards and hit the front door, the latch popping open though it didn't open the luggage lid.

Mr. Evans kept his mouth shut for the time being. As studious a boy as Lily had always said Severus was, he must despise having his school things tossed into a cupboard with so much other junk and locked up for the summer. What if he had summer reading? The boy's father clearly had no respect for what the boy was learning. His son was gifted with the ability to learn and do things that neither Tobias nor Mr. Evans could ever accomplish or fully understand. Did that mean nothing to him? And Tobias had married a woman with those same talents... It occurred to Mr. Evans that Severus's mother might be even more downtrodden than he was.

He picked up the trunk. "Any other belongings?" he asked. He made a mental note to ask Severus later if anything he valued was missing.

"What you think I'm rich or something? That boy doesn't get off his ass and get his own damn job - that's what he's got and he should be damn grateful for it!" He said angrily, and slamming the cupboard door shut once again. "Now get the fuck out of my house!" He yelled making his way back into the living room.

"EILEEN!" Tobias yelled, knowing his coward of a wife was upstairs. "WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET YOUR LAZY ASS DOWN HERE AND MAKE SOME DAMN FOOD!" He yelled, not even caring that Mr. Evans was there. Eileen slowly came down the stairs, her hands shaking and paused when she saw Mr. Evans in the door way. She didn't say anything as she meekly moved past him and towards the kitchen ... She knew they didn't have any food, but she had to find something.

It occurred to Mr. Evans that he never seemed to see Severus in a different outfit, and everything he wore always seemed so shabby... The boy's school things really might be all he had to his name. There was no excuse for it; Mr. Evans knew for a fact that Tobias made enough to do better than this for a wife and one child... if he didn't invest quite so heavily in beer.

Tobias yelled up the stairs, and Mr. Evans wanted to hit him. What kind of a man spoke to his wife like that? Then again, what kind of a man put his own son in the hospital? He stared at Eileen as she came down the stairs. He'd seen her maybe once or twice at the platform to pick up Severus... but other than that, he didn't think he'd ever seen her at all. Seeing how meekly she acted now, her very posture indicating fear... Mr. Evans realized that standing up for her son was an unrealistic expectation for Eileen; she couldn't even stand up for herself. Why? She had magic. Why did she even stay with Tobias at all? What hold did he have on her? Maybe it had started out as something different... but over the years, Tobias had clearly managed to squash down any confidence in herself the woman had ever had. It was sickening to witness.

Mr. Evans looked her in the eyes, and said quietly: "Severus will be staying with us now. He'll be safe."  
Then he lowered his voice even more, to a whisper that Tobias wouldn't be able to hear from the other side of the room. "That man isn't worth it."  
He didn't think she'd listen. After all of these years, why should five words from a passing acquaintance, practically a stranger, make any difference? But he had to say it.

He took Severus's trunk and walked out the door.

Eileen nodded meekly to Mr. Evans, glad to hear her son would be escaping this place. He deserved much better than that. She knew Severus was stubborn though ... and hoped to God that Severus would not come back for her sake. He'd always been there to protect her, when it should have been the other way around. She didn't say anything to Mr. Evans as she disappeared into the kitchen.

((A/N – There just had to be an interaction between these two. And what's that? Tobias works for Mr. Evans O_O ….. Please R&R))


	17. And there's nothing left to say anyway

Chapter 17

The next morning Severus sat up in bed, playing a game of 'Go Fish' with Lily on the side of the bed. His crow sat on the bed next to him, twisting and turning its head at Severus' cards. Dumbledore had sent him a letter with his crow to the Evan's residence, and Mr. Evans had brought him last night. Lily had sent Dumbledore a letter early this morning explaining what had happened. Dumbledore had ministry meetings all day, but sent a letter assuring Severus that he would come see him in the hospital later in the evening.

"Do you have an eight?" Severus asked, getting rather bored of the game.

Lily yawned. "Go fish." She smiled slightly at the inquisitive crow; she wondered what her owl would make of him. Or vice versa. Petunia, she was quite certain, would not approve. Then again, she didn't think Aramanth would approve of Petunia either.

She glanced around to see if any doctors were about, then asked quietly: "So... you never said what you were going to meet Dumbledore about."

Severus sighed. "I was kind of hoping to tell you over dinner. But ... I've found myself a little broke." He said sheepishly. "Dumbledore was going to take me back to Hogwarts so that he can speak with Slughorn and McGonnigal with me. Dumbledore believes that I can take my NEWTs before the summer term is up. But we'll have to make a court date this summer to get it all in order and to get permission from the ministry. If I complete my NEWTs early, it would lift my age restriction meaning I could use magic outside of Hogwarts." He said pausing as a nurse came in to check the equipment and monitors around him. She forced a smile at him before leaving once again.

"If I am successful in completing my NEWTs, I won't be a student anymore. I'll be the first student in Hogwarts history to graduate before sixth year." He said quietly so that no one but him and Lily could hear.

Lily's eyes widened. "That's... that's amazing, Severus," she said. "Lifting the age restriction? That's huge! But... what are you planning to do once you've graduated so early? Have you talked with Dumbledore about that?"

Severus was certainly brilliant and diligent enough to accomplish it, and frankly had far too many reasons to be out on his own as soon as he could... but what was he going to do as such a young wizard out of school?

Severus smiled. "I'll be returning to Hogwarts in September, if all goes according to plan, as an apprentice to Professor McGonagall. I'll be starting my mastery in Transfiguration under her study. And once Voldemort is defeated, I'll be leaving Hogwarts for six months to finish it. Once I have completed ... we'll see where I go from there." He said glad that she wasn't taking this negatively. "Perhaps after I'll go for my potions mastery ... I think I'd be able to complete that one a lot faster than Transfiguration." He said. Being a potions master for almost seventeen years does put one at an advantage.

Lily smiled; Professor McGonagall might be strict and demanding, but she had no doubt that Severus could handle it. She was just so happy for him, that he was going to accomplish something so prestigious. "That's really wonderful, Severus... but how long have you been planning this? And why Transfiguration?"

It was astonishing, really. Only a few months ago, Severus had seemed to be on such a dark path and now suddenly... this. It was as if all the energy that he'd spent being angry at the world had redirected into his intellectual pursuits. It was the best news she had ever heard from him.

"My first choice was potions but really ... could you see me teaching a class full of eleven year olds how to brew potentially explosive chemicals?" Severus asked with a grin. "I prefer it as a hobby. As for how long I've been planning this ... since about a week before Owls ... when I woke up in the hospital wing. There's something else I wanted to talk to you about-" He said pausing as he heard the door open and saw Mr. Evans walk in. He looked to Lily and mouthed 'later' to her, hoping she wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

"Hey!" Severus called out as Amaranth, no longer being content with being ignored, plucked two of Severus' cards from his hands and flew across the room to the ugly dresser at the other side of the room.

Lily laughed at the idea of Severus teaching Potions. The subject came so naturally to him that it often irritated him to stop and explain aspects of it to someone who didn't immediately grasp it; he even sometimes got frustrated with Lily. He might do alright with a room full of really advanced students with an aptitude for the subject and a love of learning but... an average classroom? Dealing with first-years? He would go mad by the end of the first grading period.

Her expression became more serious when Severus mentioned the week before OWLs. She still remembered how worried she had been... so much had changed since then. While Severus admittedly seemed to be having the best possible reaction to his near-death experience... Lily seriously hoped that all of these drastic changes really were as healthy and positive as they seemed. She nodded when Severus mouthed 'later,' and looked up as her dad walked in.

She laughed at Aramanth, and craned her neck to look at the two cards he had taken.  
"So, Severus," she said. "Have any twos? Or fours?"

"Bah," Severus said, sounding enough like his father that it made Mr. Evans glance at him. "It's a stupid game anyway." He said playfully throwing one of the cards like a Frisbee at the bird. Amaranth dropped the two cards, both of them falling to the floor as it flew back to the top of the bed as Severus lay back again. He'd been sitting up a bit too long and his ribs were starting to hurt.

"Hello Mr. Evans ..." Severus said as the man sat down. It was the first time he'd seen him since he woke up in the hospital this morning. He wondered briefly what the man had been doing all day, but realized that it was none of his business. The man did have a life after all ... probably had work to do or something.

Henry Evans made himself smile back at Severus; the boy was doing much better than last night, but he was still in terrible shape. "Hello, Severus," he said, then looked over at his daughter. "Lily, I'd like to have a word with Severus alone, if you don't mind."

Lily looked from her father to Severus and back again. What could her dad have to say to Severus that he wouldn't say in front of her?

"Um... alright," she said. "I'll... see you in a little bit, then."  
She glanced reluctantly back at Severus again, before leaving and closing the door.

Henry was quiet for a moment, gathering his thoughts and making sure that his daughter wasn't listening outside the door, before he finally made eye contact with Severus.

"I think," Mr. Evans said quietly. "That we've all come to more or less the same conclusion about how this happened to you... Would that be correct?"

After talking to Tobias, Henry considered his suspicions confirmed. But it still needed to be talked about.

Severus opened to speak but paused. He took a deep breath before looking up at Mr. Evans. "That would depend on your conclusion." He said quietly. He wasn't comfortable talking about his parents ... but he knew they would need to talk about it.

Mr. Evans nodded slowly. This couldn't be easy to talk about. If it were, Severus would have said something before. But they could not afford any miscommunications now. It was best to speak plainly.

"That this happened at home," Henry said evenly, still looking Severus directly in the eyes. "That... your father did this to you."

Severus sighed and leaned his head back against the pillow, looking away from Mr. Evans ... To Severus it had been a long time since his father died ... this shouldn't be that hard to talk about. But it was.

"That would be a correct conclusion." Severus said quietly, still not looking at Mr. Evans, his face tinting red in embarrassment which showed despite his bruises.

Mr. Evans also looked away. "I... went over to your parents' house last night," he said quietly. "And picked up your things. You'll have to tell me if anything is missing but... your trunk is in the guest bedroom at our house now. I've been talking to Heather and... we both think it would be best if you don't go back there again. You're welcome to stay with us."

Severus shook his head. "That's all I have ... and you don't have to do that." Severus said, looking down at the bed. "I can find somewhere to stay." He said. It wasn't as if Severus hadn't spent months at a time sleeping in the park growing up ... besides it was only two months before he'd become a permanent resident at Hogwarts. "Besides ... I only have two more months before I'm returning back to school ... I ... I won't have to go back there again anyway." He said, wondering if he should tell Mr. Evans his plans for the summer. "I'm going to be spending quite a bit of time at Hogwarts over the summer anyway." He said quietly.

Mr. Evans didn't buy Severus's vague line that he could 'find somewhere to stay.' If it were that easy, he doubted Severus would still have been at his parents' house in the first place.

"Of course you'll be going back to Hogwarts," he said. "And if you have business there over the summer, then by all means go. But when you're not at Hogwarts, we want you to stay with us."

Severus shook his head. "I don't want to impose on your family Mr. Evans. My problems aren't yours... nor do I wish them to become yours." He said shaking his head. "I'll talk to Dumbledore when I meet with him ... see if I can stay there for the summer." He said, though he doubted Albus would allow it. He would need permission from the Ministry and it was unheard of a student staying there over the summer. If a child was unable to go home to their parents then they were sent to a family members, or if they had no family, then an orphanage.

Again, if it were that easy, Henry seriously doubted that the boy would have been in that house in the first place. He sighed. "You will not be _imposing_ on anyone," he said firmly. Except perhaps Petunia. But then, it was not her house, and she would just have to be polite to their guest and deal with it. It might even build character. In any case, Petunia tended to spend the summer and winter holidays either up in her room, or out with her friends, so an additional person in the house would have no real effect on her. "We _want_ you to stay with us. To put it bluntly, my wife will be devastated if she is denied the chance to over-feed you, and I am holding your trunk hostage. You are staying with us."

Frankly, if he had ever suspected just how bad things were at the Snape household, Mr. Evans would have acted years ago. Leaving Severus to fend for himself now was out of the question.

Severus sighed and looked to the man. In his previous life he never understood just how much Lily's parents seemed to care about him. In a way, he supposed the Evans' were to him as the Weasley's were to Harry Potter. He nodded. "Thank you." He said quietly, as Amaranth took that time to land on his head, twisting its own head this way and that before bouncing onto his knee, it's wings outstretched so that it could glide gently to the next spot. Severus groaned at the thing.

"You're such a calamity you know that." He said annoyed with the bird. The bird looked at him from his knee, pecking his beak into the material of the blanket before bouncing down the bed.

"It's settled then," he said, standing up, then smiled slightly. "Amaranth can come too."

He opened the door and looked down the hallway, where Lily was waiting, leaning against the wall, looking mildly worried. She heard the door open and looked up at him.

"I'm way over here," she said. "Being bored and not eavesdropping." 

"Obviously," Mr. Evans said. "Unless you've developed superhearing as well. You can come in now. Severus will be staying with us over the summer."

Lily's eyes lit up. "Really?" She ran up and hugged her father tight. "Thanks, dad."

A mild concern set in, and Henry thought back to that awkward realization on the car ride back from the station. What precisely had he just done? The right thing, probably. And then an image popped into his head, of how Eileen had looked, hands trembling as she meekly snuck down the stairs.

Lily went back into the hospital room to join Severus.

Severus smiled as Lily came back into the room. "Want to play another game?" He asked indicating the cards, though three of them were still on the floor on the other side of the room. "A different one this time though ... Go Fish is just so last year." He said imitating Petunia.

((A/N – just a bit of an update to the posting schedule. I've been posting chapters every Friday but we're going to have a bit of a change, because unfortunately I'm posting chapters faster than we're writing them and we don't want it to catch up with us so …. With that in mind I'm going to be posting another one of my fanfics which already has a good portion of chapters written, and will be posted in a rotation. So each Friday there will be a rotation, one week our Batman fanfic, feel free to check it out on my profile it will be posted first chapter next Friday. And then the week after will be Snape. So Batman, Snape, Batman, Snape, etc etc …. Every Friday. I wish we could bust out chapters faster than we are, and continuing to post them every week but if we continue to do so, then we'll run out of chapters to post and then there will be a LARGE time period gap for you all to wait for the story to continue. Believe me when I say though, we have no intentions of abandoning this fanfic, and have TONS of story to put into it. It will in the end wind up being a mega fic. Thank you so much for your understanding, your follows, your reviews, you guys have been fantastic. Keep it up. Your reviews are all we ask for. We love hearing how we're doing.))


End file.
